I don’t have any fags in that area yet, Sir. Please contact me via Kik (normalsubmissive) or email (fagsworshipstraights(at)yahoo) and provide a bit more information. Thank you, Sir! I hope to be helpful!
I don’t have any fags in that area yet, Sir. Please contact me via Kik (normalsubmissive) or email (fagsworshipstraights(at)yahoo) and provide a bit more information. Thank you, Sir! I hope to be helpful!
Macrophilia: A sexual fetish
relating to being shrunk or being around a giant. Macrophiliacs
get a sexual thrill from the idea of being at the mercy of either a
gentle or violent giant.
One of my earliest memories of “sexual” feelings involved me becoming excited at the thought of being a tiny, helpless person in the company of giants. There was a girl named Karen who lived up the street from me when I was very young. Karen was taller than most boys and girls our age, and she certainly towered over me.
While I wasn’t ever interested in Karen as a “girlfriend,” there was something about her height that excited me to no end. I would sometimes curl up next to her and mutter something weird like, “If I curl up enough, you could probably eat me and I’d fit in your stomach.” This would make Karen, already self-conscious about her height, even more uncomfortable. It was probably my fault that the poor, giraffe-like girl spent her high school years hunched over like a crippled old lady.
I never really thought much about my youthful fascination with giants over the years. But, thanks to internet research, I was finally able to put a name to the fetish: macrophilia.
I’m not a psychology major, but as I’ve researched this subject, I’m beginning to think my early, unaided interest in macrophilia was the first manifestation of my blossoming faggothood (new word alert!). The excitement at being small, helpless, and fragile seems to influence the rest of my sexual development.
I do wonder if the macrophilia fetish explains why so many faggots like me love to get on the ground and worship Men’s feet. It seems to be a manifestation of worship to a larger, more powerful being – the very instinct that fuels macrophiliacs. All I know is that when I kiss my Alpha’s feet, I feel at once powerless but peaceful. It is blissful to be able to show obeisance to great and powerful Men in that way.
Macrophilia might also help explain why so many faggots are “size queens” and primarily interested in very large cocks, feet, and tall/muscular frames. This goes for women, too, who for the most part find themselves attracted to Men larger than themselves.
I’m not sure if those two sexual fetishes are linked, but it seems to explain much about the roots of my personal journey to faggotdom (another new word!). Regardless of the origin, it’s interesting to study the desires that drive me to devote my life to the service of Men.
I couldn’t find many macrophilia pictures online, so I tried to make my own. It’s difficult given the lack of suitable pictures:
They have shirts like that, Sir?
That’s a tough question to answer. If an Alpha wanted me to serve, I would. However, most Alphas who would be that aggressive and cocky would already be on my radar and have my interest.
I do reserve the right to choose who I serve to some degree. I was born to serve MEN. I’m not going to service some broke, fat loser just because he’s horny. I think my time and skills are worth more than that.
After being locked up for so long, a stud needs to release all his pent up aggression and sexual energy. Most women wouldn’t tolerate this degradation, but a faggot’s purpose to serve Men and satisfy their needs no matter how primal, violent, or humiliating.
In yesterday’s post, i discussed the pain and muscle fatigue that faggots often experience during an intense session of cockworshipping, and explained how i pushed through it — intent on doing my job, regardless of my burning suck-muscles. i wanted to share something important that i forgot to mention: Several months ago, i began repeating a mantra over and over again in my head whenever i found myself plugged with dick. The mantra comes up when either of my holes is being used, but it’s especially powerful and present when my throatcunt is occupied. The mantra is: “Cock is life.”
i didn’t intentionally create this mantra, or start using it mindfully. One day, it was just there. And it’s returned every time i’ve serviced since. Proof — if ever there was any doubt — that i truly am a faggot, through and through. When i’m sucking a cock and the mantra comes to mind, the service i’m giving reaches a new level of intensity, enthusiasm and commitment. And, i hope, pleasure for the Man i’m servicing. As i repeat the mantra in my mind, i find myself literally trying to suck life force out of the Man’s cock, finding energy inside it that infuses me with purpose, drive and nourishment. And when the cum finally arrives, sliding down my hungry gullet, i feel full. It’s hard to explain, but i become entranced. What began as a blowjob truly becomes an act of worship in the most devotional sense possible. It’s as close to a religious experience as i’m capable of having.
Faggots: Next time you’re servicing cock, try repeating the mantra. “Cock is life.” See what happens. Do you feel transformed?
Men: Next time You’re being sucked, repeat Your own mantra. Remind Yourself that You’re not just receiving pleasure, but giving it. That You’re feeding a faggot — not just in a literal sense, but in a meta sense. Does it change how You fuck and feed?
Cock is life. Live it.
Dominance starts early. I remember some of the games I played with neighborhood kids even when I was really young. A lot of them involved submission in some sense. We often played ‘prisoner of war’ which of course involved torture for some sort of ‘information’. The torture of course quickly always turned sexual. But I loved it, especially administering it. Also in early middle school we had mixed grade PE and did wrestling in the winter. I was the same exact weight as this guy, who was widely considered the hottest guy in school. His family was from New Zealand, but they ended up staying and I was in school with him through high school. I would always pin him. But then we started wrestling in the mat room at lunch. But then when I pinned him I would start twisting his dick and twisting his balls until he said Uncle. He always wore sweats in the winter, and I never felt any hint of underwear. He’d always be boned hard after our little wrestling sessions, but we kept doing it week after week. Kids can be just as dominant and submissive as anyone. I think for true doms, it probably usually starts real early on.
Sir makes a very good point. Most real Alphas and fags learn and accept their roles very early in life. I remember giving up in when wrestling or fighting with other Males because deep down I wanted them to know they were more powerful. I also remember willingly doing homework for this cute kid in elementary school. Even at a young age, I knew what I was born to do.
As always, you can look through the available Alphas by using this table here: http://fagsworshipstraights.tumblr.com/alpha-fag-database
It’s also going to be very difficult to contact you while you’re anonymous, ya know? Is anybody actually thinking these days??
Very insightful question! Thank you!
First of all, I don’t believe a fag must necessarily be a “temporary” outlet for straight Alpha Males. An Alpha might continue owning a fag for many years due to a variety of reasons … perhaps the fag provides very good service, or perhaps the Alpha is comfortable with that fag, or maybe the Alpha simply can’t find anyone better. Like any “relationship” between two humans, there are many unique variables involved to make it work (or stop working).
Christian was one of the most inquisitive straight Males I’ve ever encountered (and still is today). Our early interactions were very much like boyfriend/girlfriend, except that he was very much the dominant one and I was his servant. One minute he would have me worshiping his gorgeous size 12.5 feet, and the next minute he would be asking me for my feelings on various subjects (usually girls). My relationship with Christian was unique among the Men I’ve served.
I could’ve fallen in love with Christian very easily – in fact, at one point I feared that it might be happening – but I’d been hurt before and understood my role as a faggot by that point. Fortunately, I was able to control my feelings enough to salvage the friendship when we had “the talk” you mentioned. Christian very much wanted to keep my friendship, and I felt the same.
So we’ve remained friends ever since, and I’m grateful. I was in his wedding, and I’ve had the privilege of having his family live with me on two occasions when they needed help. He is probably the single most important person in my life, and I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished as friends.
That’s probably more than I ever intended to write about Christian, but your thoughtful question drew it out of me … you sneaky devil.
I have nothing in that area in my Alpha/fag database, and I don’t really have any contacts there.
On a lark, I went on Craigslist and ran a filter for “straight” in “casual encounters.” I instantly found this:
That search took less than 30 seconds. There were others, too, but I’m not going to clip them to display on here.
The point is this: if you’re a fag wanting to serve, you need to take some initiative. You can’t sit around complaining that you can’t find anyone when you aren’t willing to look for yourself. If I can find a promising lead like that within 30 seconds, so can you.
Alphas kiss their girlfriends/wives (it’s unlikely any girl would stay with a Man without that), but I seriously doubt an Alpha would kiss a fag. I have certainly never kissed any Alpha I’ve served on the lips. Perhaps others have more to add to this.
Thank you, Sir. If there are any German fags reading this and would like to serve, please get in touch.
Coming off of anonymous might be a start.
I always loved when Aaron would decide to spend the night. Unlike my other straight friends, Aaron insisted that he sleep with me in my queen sized bed rather than the couch or the floor. I would offer the bed to use by himself, but he’d always flash a warm smile and pull me into bed with him. He was an Alpha who never felt threatened by my homosexuality.
Our bodies would snuggle close enough to feel warmth. I loved the weight of his heavy, muscular body next to mine, the sweet smell of his musk surrounding me under the covers. Aaron always slept like a baby at my place, but I would stay up all night enjoying the soothing comfort of having this strong Alpha next to me at night.
One night I decided to test Aaron. I knew that Alphas have an instinctual need to be protectors of weaker people in their charge, so I wanted to conduct an experiment. I slowly positioned myself next to his body and then started to fake a terrible nightmare. I shivered. I moaned lightly. It was an Academy Award winning performance.
Soon enough, Aaron woke up from the commotion next to him. He rolled over on his back and reached out a hand to stroke my hair. I pretended to bolt awake.
“You okay?” Aaron whispered, still stroking my hair.
“I … I don’t know. What happened?” I asked sadly, lying through my teeth.
“You were shaking,” said Aaron, concern in his voice. He knew of the rape, my nightmares.
“Oh, I’m sorry …” I replied, feigning frustration.
Aaron put a strong hand behind my head, pulling me to him. “Come here,” he whispered.
He pulled my head onto his chest and wrapped his arms around me. His body under me felt like the Earth, huge and vast. I could hear his heart thumping under his enormous pecs. I ran a hand over them as I got comfortable in his arms.
He held me for a while, gently brushing my hair with his hand.
“You feel better now?” asked Aaron tenderly.
“Yes, thank you,” I replied, more than satisfied.
“Good, I need to go to the bathroom,” he said as he carefully extracted himself from my embrace. He knew my condominium well enough to navigate it in complete darkness and find the bathroom. I could hear the flick of the switch, the opening of the toilet.
Then came a sound that only faggots can really appreciate: the resonant sound of a well-built Man taking a piss. It went on forever, and seemed more like a waterfall than a urine stream.
Eventually Aaron returned to bed. To my surprise, he positioned himself next to me and pulled my head back onto his chest.
I smiled wickedly in the darkness. “I love hearing you piss,” I whispered.
“You sicko. Why?” asked Aaron.
“Because it sounds like such a huge stream. It’s the sound of a Man pissing,” I whispered.
Aaron laughed slightly. “Well, it IS a Man pissing.”
“Yes Sir,” I replied sheepishly, “it just sounds bigger than most.”
Except for our breathing, there was silence. Then Aaron grabbed my right hand, pulled it from his left pectoral, and placed it on his cock. It was soft, but was still long and incredibly thick. I groped it slightly, my breaths quickening.
“See, that’s why it sounds like that,” Aaron said. Then, just as suddenly, he pulled my hand away and placed it back on his chest. “But you can’t have that, so go back to sleep.”
Little did he know that I would eventually get it. My little ruse had awakened the Alpha in him.
First of all, he continues to “flirt” with you physically (the wrestling, etc.) primarily because he LIKES the fact that his body/sexuality turns you on. This is typical of most straight Alpha Males. They enjoy the attention they receive from admirers like you.
Whatever you do, DO NOT start talking to him about your feelings.
Instead, you need to alter the dynamic in your friendship. It starts in your mind – come to grips with the fact that he’s your Master, not your friend. After that, start showing submissiveness to him. Offer to wash and wax his car or other chores. Buy him things you know he wants or needs. When he’s over at your house, wait on his needs like a servant might. He will pick up on that.
If he seems receptive, increase your submissive gestures. Rub his feet and shoulders. Refer to him as “Sir” a few times and gauge his reaction. Compliment him often. Dominant Alphas have powerful egos, and showing respect and awe for their physical presence can cause them to see you as something they own and can use.
I would guess that if your friend knows you’re gay and continues to wrestle around with you (i.e. flirt), then he’s definitely open to more. However, he may not know what those roles should be (it’s easier with women, since they’re naturally the submissive one). Showing him that you are his faggot – his girl – will trigger his natural instincts to dominate and receive pleasure.
Keep me posted!
It’s been a long time since I last wrote about Texas Alpha (last update on October 20th. Read that here) , the 22 year-old straight Man who asked me to find him a faggot to own.
I wasn’t able to update much over that time period primarily because Texas Alpha abruptly stopped communicating with me after I called him out on a couple of lies and his lack of trust in me. I figured my words had upset him enough that he was no longer interested in my services.
But something else was happening behind the scenes that I didn’t realize at the time.
About two weeks ago I received an impassioned, heartbroken message from Texas Alpha’s fag. The fag said he hadn’t heard from Texas Alpha in almost two weeks and didn’t know what to do. I instructed the fag to leave a note on Texas Alpha’s door, respectfully asking for a reason for the sudden silence.
Shockingly, the note worked, and Texas Alpha met the fag in order to tell the fag the surprising news: Texas Alpha had impregnated his girlfriend.
Here is a description from Texas Alpha’s fag:
I left a
note like you suggested and (Texas Alpha) eventually called me up and told me he
was going to pick me up and meet up. He picked me up and we drove to
this park that we’ve been too a few times. It was very awkward and
uncomfortable but basically I asked him what I had done wrong even though I
knew I didn’t deserve any response.
He was very reluctant at first but I
think he knew if he didn’t tell me what was up that I’d probably keep
probing in and out of his life. That’s when he told me that his girlfriend got
pregnant. He basically told me that he couldn’t use and abuse me anymore.
He’s starting a new chapter in his life, a life where he can’t be seedy
and double handed. Basically his dream has always been to become a
father and even though he didn’t plan it to be this soon he’s very excited
and happy to be the dad that he wants to be for his child.
After he told me that he told me to never contact him again. He made me
give him my phone and I watched him delete his number completely from
my phone. All texts, all calls, all snaps, everything. He just completely cut me out.
I’m heartbroken for this beautiful, brave little fag. He gave everything to Texas Alpha, and now has only memories of a Man he will never see again.
I hate to wax philosophical, but this is the harsh reality for fags who serve straight Alpha Males. No matter how much the Alpha loves owning and using a fag, he will inevitably be drawn back to his original purpose: bedding and breeding females. Texas Alpha loved using his personal faggot, but the powerful instincts that drive all Men eventually pushed him back into the wet folds of his girlfriend’s pussy.
I have a feeling that someday Texas Alpha will once again have personal faggots to use. Starting a family is now his primary focus, but eventually he will yearn for the complete service only a faggot can really provide.
Texas Alpha has a taste for it now, and that is difficult to forget. He will be difficult to forget, too.
First of all, I’m sorry for your loss, my brother. You are very fortunate to have had a long-term love affair/marriage from such a young age, and at a time less forgiving of those practices. Treasure that unique gift.
No, I don’t think you should give up on service. I don’t think any fag should give up on service unless they’ve given up on themselves. There are plenty of 35-60 year old Alphas who would love to own you. Make yourself available, and an Alpha will eventually claim you.
A word of caution, though. You’re recovering from a traumatic loss and haven’t experienced these kind of fetishes before. Avoid being “kicked around.” That might be more than you want right now.
An owned submissive is someone who has an Owner, but still retains some amount of autonomy. A slave has no autonomy.
A plant can’t move at all.
You may be right, Sir. I think the cowboy looks pretty young, and most Alpha Males develop truly aggressive Alpha tendencies with time and experience. The cowboy probably hadn’t used fags very much at that point. Also, I’m sure the cowboy was somewhat disgusted and ashamed to even be using this revolting, ill-mannered fag, leading to disorientation.
Interesting perspective, Sir. I felt like Alphas were better suited to really answer this question anyway. Thank you Sir.
What are you wanting me to say about this topic? That I think Alphas should run around raping people? Who is ever going to advocate that kind of behavior?
As I’ve said before (read here), my rape helped reinforce my natural position and the natural order of things. I’m not saying it was good, obviously, but I managed to learn some things from it.
Still, I wouldn’t wish that experience on anybody.
Let’s just put it this way: rapes have always happened, and will probably continue indefinitely. After all, we are still human animals, and Men have powerful urges to dominate and breed. I’m realistic. Also, I think some rapes (mine, for instance) reinforce an order that follows what we see in nature. There is a social usefulness to rape, much the same way there is a social usefulness to fighting and war.
However, I’m not going to sit here and write that Alphas should rape fags. It happens. Let’s accept it and move on.
All of that in just one paragraph, eh?
As I’ve said recently, faggots have been around since the first day one Man dominated another. It’s part of our nature as human animals.
But they weren’t called “faggots” or “homosexuals” in the past. Early records often refer to these faggots as “eunuchs” because of their lack of sexual intercourse with females. More often, ancient language identified the SEX ACT rather than the individual. “Sodomy” (derived from the Biblical city of Sodom destroyed by God due to homosexuality) is one such word used in ancient times.
Identifying a person as a “homosexual” (a term that means “of the same sex”) or a “faggot” – in other words, acknowledging their sexual preference – is something that didn’t begin until the 19th century.
As for the term “faggot,” it was originally used to describe a bundle of sticks, but by the 16th century it was being used to describe helpless old ladies. Eventually the term morphed into a description of “lady boys,” and by the early 20th century it was used as a derogatory label for homosexual males.
As for sexual identity, a faggot is basically a slave used by Men for whatever purpose they require. Faggots aren’t inclined to marry or reach for what most Men consider a “normal life.” Instead, the cravings of a faggot always involve serving the needs of Men. They want nothing more than to do whatever they must in order to completely satisfy a Man’s needs. If a faggot were female, it would most likely be considered a “slut,” although, unlike most sluts I’ve known, a faggot isn’t expecting love or devotion from a Man in return for services rendered. A faggot instinctively knows it’s simply a “thing” to be used by Men.
That said, I don’t think a faggot should put itself at risk. Your HIV+ question is a good one, because that disease syndrome has added a relatively-new wrinkle to the fag dynamic. But no, I don’t think a fag should be required to take an HIV+ load up its ass. I also don’t think a faggot should be raped, obviously, although, as I’ve written before (read here), my rape probably helped me understand myself better. I still wouldn’t wish it on anyone, though.
Ultimately, a faggot is an object used by Men for their own pleasure. When used like this, a faggot receives immense satisfaction. I don’t think Men truly understand how badly faggots yearn to serve them. They often mistakenly think of a faggot they see as a “gay guy” who is still somewhat equal to them but simply has a different sexual preference.
But a faggot is not a “gay guy” who is equal to a Man or a gay Man. Faggots are servants, slaves, objects under the control of Men. I think if more Men understood this truth about faggots they would be much happier. Imagine a Man owning multiple faggots: he can get serviced sexually whenever and however he wants, he can have faggots take care of the chores, and even take care of the bills. A Man who owns faggots can enjoy the worship he rightly deserves, much the way a king once enjoyed the service of subjects.
So that’s some information about faggots. Hopefully I managed to cover most of the bases of this curious homework assignment.
Well, this is a doozy of a question!
First of all, I’m not a medical professional, so I’m not going to advise any particular course of action here. As with anything, a procedure like this should only be done under with the consultation and care of a doctor or surgeon.
1. Personally, I don’t think faggots should be castrated en masse. I absolutely love having a functioning penis and testicles despite the fact that it’s tiny and no longer used for sex. For faggots, the better thing is to TRAIN YOURSELF (or be trained, of course) to disregard your penis as nothing more than a small fleshy tube used to evacuate urine.
To this end, I’ve managed successfully. I’ve never touched myself during encounters with Men, and I’ve never attempted an orgasm in their presence. Obviously, I run a “porn site” on Tumblr, so I’m constantly looking at graphic material and enjoying it immensely. But I’ve developed a measure of control while alone so that I maintain my correct frame of mind.
2. I understand that Alphas might feel like it’s their right to demand castration for a faggot, but ultimately this is a decision on long-term body alteration that only a faggot can make for itself.
3. I will not recommend castration. However, if a faggot chose that for itself, I would support them as much as possible. Anyone coming to grips with their sexual preferences deserves respect, space, and support. They will always receive that from me.
4. Castration might be the ultimate way to increase submissiveness in a faggot (and, most likely, performance). But it’s a hell of a step to take. Ultimately, I think any faggot is better off training themselves with control techniques in order to modulate their submissiveness and improve their service to Men. However, there are certainly faggots out there so disgusted/frustrated by their genitalia that such an alteration might be the only way they can find comfort and peace. Each individual fag must make that important decision for themselves.
I hope this helps. Again, I must stress that you shouldn’t do anything without consulting a doctor and perhaps some sort of counselor. This is a very radical step to take, and any procedure must be undertaken with full knowledge and adequate safety protocols. Good luck, my brother!
As @tomthedom80 has recently mentioned, I’ve had far too many fellow fags refer to me as “Sir” when writing to me lately. I appreciate the thought – it’s probably just habit, which isn’t such a bad thing – but it makes me extremely uncomfortable to be called by such superlatives.
Regardless of my education or achievements in life, in the end I’m really just a faggot. A hole. A servant. A slave. I could be a millionaire, an award-winning doctor, or a world-famous author, and none of that would matter when confronted with the needs of a Man. Even though I have more life experience and enjoy a degree of personal comfort, I still wilt in the presence of a young Alpha half my age. Such is my station in life. My true calling. My birthright. I was born a faggot, and I serve Men as a faggot.
Men are awesome creatures – Alphas even more so – and they alone are worthy of such respect and worship. No matter what I’ve accomplished in life, I’m ultimately just a slave to the whims of these godly Men who use me.
So please don’t call me “Sir.” Doing so only embarrasses me, and shames the Men to whom that term rightly applies.
I’ve never used a chastity device – I guess I’ve never really needed it – so I’m probably not the best person to ask about such devices. I did purchase a chastity device for Texas Alpha through Amazon, and there were several units there. I would look through their selection and see if one of those devices tickles your fancy.
Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate it, although I’m not a “sir” in any way, shape or form (corrected by @tomthedom80 – thank you, Sir).
I don’t know of any Alphas in Canada, and I’m not really familiar with Canada in general (I’ve been to Toronto once). If you’re too shy to introduce yourself/offer services to any Alpha you might know personally (or around you), then I’d suggest offering your services on places like Craigslist or other social media hookup sites. I know that sucks, but from time to time Alpha males cruise those places looking for slaves. Do a search for the words “alpha” or “straight” in “casual encounters” and see what pops up. You might be surprised.
Very good, Sir!
First of all, a statement of belief: any real Alpha should attract fags naturally. You will notice them following you at the gym, staring at you in restaurants/bars, and attempting awkward conversations with you at grocery stores, etc. They can’t help themselves.
However, fags are often quite fearful (with good reason). This is where the confidence of a true Alpha must come into play. If a fag is following you around or demonstrating signs of submissiveness to you, then simply order it to perform tasks for you. If the fag naturally starts following your commands, then enslave it further.
Due to concerns within their personal life, some Alphas draw fags primarily through online communities like Craigslist, Grindr, Adam4Adam, etc. Like the advice above, be blunt and honest with fags. Directness will help weed out pretenders and reveal the real fags willing to serve you.
I hope this helps, Sir, and thank you for asking my opinion! I hope you have a stable of fags to serve you very soon!
Yes Sir, that is definitely a problem. Fags are always excited about serving a Man until they actually have a Man use them … Then it’s a different story.
Much to my disappointment, I have just learned that strike through text apparently cannot be used in the title of a post, which keeps me from actually naming this post “
SubTime Waster of the Day: Darren” as I’d intended.
There are a handful of guys who respond over and over again to the Craigslist ads I place in DFW. Darren is one of them.
I usually avoid these guys. If I’ve seen your “CL email name” or pics come through my inbox more than a dozen times, I begin to think you’re desperate. I assume that you respond to every ad looking for a cocksucker that you see. Not all of my CL ads are the same, so I don’t believe you are targeting me. I think you are looking for any dick you can get your mouth or ass on, which makes me less inclined to stick my cock in either of your fuck holes.
A few weeks ago, Darren did something different that got my attention. He has a very distinctive “name” that CL shows when he emails, so I immediately recognized him and almost deleted his message without reading it, but before I could hit the delete button in Gmail, I noticed that he actually sent a substantive message. What a concept!
I read his message and decided to respond. After a few rounds of emailing, he convinced me that meeting would be worthwhile. However, yesterday (Saturday) morning was the first time we were both available and it turns out I was wrong.
Things started off fine. Darren has a nice one-bedroom condo and seemed eager to please. Before meeting, I told him that I wanted to get sucked and fuck him. I’m not always in the mood to top, but yesterday morning I was and I made sure Darren knew that before we met.
Darren sucked my dick for a few minutes but started hesitating when I began grabbing his head and becoming more vocal. I made comments about him teasing the head and me needing to feel his whole mouth while I thrusted into it but he kept pulling his head away. I was starting to get pissed off when he said, “I don’t like you treating me like I’m just a cocksucker.”
What the fuck? Are you kidding me? You’ve responded to at least eight different ads I posted with the word cocksucker in the title. Maybe you don’t realize it was me all those times and this particular ad didn’t use the work cocksucker, but the ad said I’m a verbal straight guy. Don’t pretend you’re above this or that you thought I was looking for a boyfriend.
After that, Darren started jacking me off. His technique was actually pretty good. If I hadn’t been so pissed off I might have let him finish me, but I told him I had planned on a blowjob and fucking his ass, not a hand job. He said, “Come on, baby, please cum for me.” I said no and told him I was done with him.
I got up, got dressed, and went to work with blue balls.
What really makes me angry is that no man should have to put up with a time waster like Darren. We deserve better than that. It shouldn’t be this difficult to find a good reliable cocksucker, but ever since my most reliable kneeler moved away almost 6 months ago, I haven’t been able to find a replacement. Yeah sure I have subs who I can meet a couple times per month but I have to plan in advance and make choices (Gus isn’t free again until next Monday, but that’s also the only day Bryan can meet). What’s missing in my life is a reliable steady cocksucker who I can text on 30 minutes or an hour notice and say I need to use his mouth because I’m a fucking man and I need to cum in a warm wet hole right then!
I used to have that before Tyler moved away. You haven’t heard about him before now because I haven’t written his story for Nifty, and I haven’t seen him since I started telling Sub of the Day stories on here.
I could text Tyler before my lunch break or a few minutes before leaving work for the day and tell him I was going to stop by and he was always ready. He would greet me at the door, ask me if I wanted him to kneel in the living room or suck my dick in his bed that day, and get in position while I undressed. It was that simple. I’d use his mouth standing up, slouching on the couch, or in the bed or whatever combination of those I felt like. When I was finished, he’d swallow every drop I fed him and lick my cock clean. Then he walked me to the door, said, “Thank you sir,” and I’d walk back to my car thinking how wonderful life was.
Seeing all you cocksuckers, betas, faggots, and whatever else you call yourselves on tumblr has made me realize how much I miss Tyler and how much I need a sub like him at my disposal again.
Many cocksuckers think that being used by a Man degrades them in some way. However, as this experience shows, it’s really the cocksucker that degrades itself with flaky and deceitful behavior.
As @tomthedom80 indicates, real faggots are a treasure to a Man. No, the Man will not leave his wife/girlfriend/kids and marry you, but he values owning you because you provide him with respectable, reliable, and skilled service. Isn’t that appreciation worth earning?
I’m no “Sir,” obviously, but I still appreciate the sentiment! Who doesn’t like having a secret anonymous admirer?! I’m grinning from ear to ear! Thank you! I love you, too!
I’m happy I have a dick, and I really don’t understand what straight/bi guys see in these, but having one is obviously a plus.
I definitely understand what Men love about pussy. I’ve fucked pussy before, and it’s definitely well-suited to milking cock. If given the choice, there is no question why a Man would choose a pussy over a fag’s asshole.
The problem isn’t the pussy itself, but all of the crap a Man must deal with in order to get it.
Thank you! I’m glad to be here for you! Now, your questions:
1. How should I behave myself with Alphas?
Respectfully. They are your superiors, and should be treated as such. Avoid eye contact (unless sucking their dick), lower your head, use terms like “Sir” when addressing them. Any Alpha will appreciate your submissive behavior.
2. Should I send them messages first?
I’m not sure what you mean by this. If you’re talking about online, then yes, send them messages. How else will they know you’re ready to serve?
3. Should I offer myself?
4. Where should I look for (a) Master?
Universities are great places to find Alphas. Gyms, of course, are great. I’ve found Alphas at restaurants/bars near college campuses. Sports bars are great. Just any place where Men like to congregate and be manly.
Please feel free to keep in touch. I’d love to hear your experiences. As always, I’m on KIK (normalsubmissive).
I received a text last night from an 18 year old faggot-in-training (he’s still a virgin at this point). The message amused me:
How can someone stop being a faggot?
I understand this young faggot’s quandary. When we’re young, we romanticize everything. Everywhere we see heterosexual couples enjoying life together, so it’s natural to imagine the same for ourselves. We want the loving spouse, the 2.5 kids, the golden retriever sleeping by the fireplace, and every happiness promised by marital bliss. Marriage = security = happiness, right?
For many young gays, this dream has never been closer to reality than it is today. The movement for marriage equality is sweeping across the world, giving young gays the impression that this picturesque model of happiness is now within their grasp. Most young gays growing up today will someday be able to fall in love, get married, raise children, and grow old together in security.
However, this will not ever be the future for someone born as a faggot.
Fags are born only to serve the needs of Men. Fags have served Men since the beginning of the first human society. Rulers would often castrate male servants in order to pacify and subdue them. Even the Bible speaks of “eunuchs” who could not/would not have sex with women.
Fags exist as part of the natural order. When we strip human society of intellectual ideas like morality, equality, and fidelity, we see a hierarchical arrangement of animals, with the strongest animals leading and using the weaker animals. There is no “right” or “wrong” in this order. Each member of this order is simply fulfilling its purpose.
A fag might dream about having a contented married life. Hell, a fag might even get married and make an attempt to play “happy family.” However, such ideas are self-defeating delusions. In the long run, a fag cannot escape the true purpose of its existence.
Fags are born to serve Men. They cannot derive satisfaction from a spouse or raising a family. A fag is gratified only when a Man is pleased with their service. A fag feels pride when a Man returns to use them again. A fag finds fulfillment from knowing that it serves and satisfies great Men who lead the world.
For any fag, that reality is greater than any dream of marital bliss.
@colonelrocq wrote: “You are doing a great job with your site, fag! I read all the advice and encouragement you give the fags following your site.
I rarely go to totally gay events. I live in a large Midwest city in which most of the fags are looking for love and romance. A (HUSBAND)! I, of course, am not the love-and-romance type of Alpha. I like that you teach fags their purpose in life.
There was a huge Bear event in my city recently that I decided to attend. I got on the app Growlr the morning of the event and chatted with some fags. I let it be known I would be attending and on the hunt for service. Well it worked very well! I was standing on the patio of the bar surrounded by other Alphas and their fags wanting to service me! I was amazed how many of the younger better looking fags and their Alphas were open and even in competition for my attention.
Tell your fags: stroking an Alphas ego will get them farther than just being open to sucking our cocks!!!!!! I get offers to suck my cock constantly. The fag that strokes my ego gets the prize.”
Thank you, Sir! I appreciate the compliments as well as the experience. And you are right about the importance of worshiping an Alpha’s ego first and foremost, Sir. Thank you again!
He knows his strengths and is confident in his power. It takes courage to stand there, naked, as a man. Nudity for a true Alpha male is as natural as his hard on. He is the first of your buddies to drop the shorts and jump in the lake. He’s a young man who walks around naked in the gym, while this other buddies sheepishly wrap themselves chest to knees in the towel. Pussies. He is your straight neighbor who invites you to the hot tub and you know exactly what to wear. Just a couple of guys taking a soak. Nudity requires confidence, requires self-assuredness. Just ask yourself, who gives a fuck as you strut, naked on the beach, through the woods, in the gym, at home, etc…
Just like this. Every fucking time. Just like this.
@thecaltexan speaks absolute truth here. The confidence to be naked – even a desire to be seen naked – might be one of the great personality traits that helps separate Alphas from other straight Men and (of course) fags. Alpha males recognize the power of their form, the form of a Man. They are not afraid of that power. In fact, they embrace it.
Today I was contacted by a married female named “Mary” who apparently got it into her head that I might be able to find her an Alpha male. This is a new one for me, but I had little doubt that I could find an Alpha willing to breed her.
But then she said this to me (she’s in gray on the left, I’m in blue on the right):
Of course, the dumb bitch missed my point when I told her he sounded hot. I didn’t “want (her) hot husband” since I prefer to avoid messing with married Men if possible. Instead, I was trying to underline the idea that her husband already sounds very much like a perfect Alpha.
So I wanted to know what was wrong with him, and this exchange occurred:
She suddenly didn’t want to keep talking for some reason.
Any fag or Alpha reading this exchange can immediately see the problem: she doesn’t want to submit. She wants a Man to take charge without any kind of personal responsibility for the encounter. She doesn’t want to feel that she must give up her own autonomy and offer it willingly to her husband.
That’s gutless on her part.
Sex has always been difficult between Men and women in the modern age primarily because women refuse their natural position as sexually subservient to a Man. Women are physically weaker than their male counterparts. The acts involved in heterosexual sex involve a woman being penetrated (a rather violent intrusion) and, in some ways, overpowered. Because of this, women have a dismissive, muted attitude toward sex. It’s physically more unpleasant for them, so they don’t want it as much as Men do.
However, women do like the power sex affords them.
The withholding of sex is one of the great battles between heterosexual couples. Most of the time, Men want constant, rough, loud, filthy sex. Women grant them this occasionally, but usually only to satisfy an ulterior motive. When Men recognize this trap, they often become frustrated, angry, even violent. Lack of sex (via withholding or other reasons) is often mentioned as the primary reason why couples break up.
In the exchange above, you can see the problem forming. This selfish bitch doesn’t want to give up her “power” in the relationship in order to foster her husband’s obvious Alpha tendencies. She knows it’s there, but submitting to him would give him greater authority over her in their marriage. She doesn’t want that.
Instead, she wants me to find her a random Alpha that will “roughly take her” while still retaining her power within her marital relationship. In fact, she even mentioned a “threesome” at one point, further demonstrating her desire to cuckold her Alpha husband.
Given this, is there any surprise that Alphas turn to fags? Alphas can enjoy the full extent of their power with a faggot. There are no negotiations, no ulterior motives. Fags only want to serve Alphas completely and thoroughly. And when an Alpha has received what he needs from the fag, he can leave the fag without any commitment, knowing the fag will be there eagerly waiting to serve him when he needs to use the fag again.
What Alpha wouldn’t prefer that?
If a woman really wants to please a Man, she needs to study faggots. Learn the importance of giving up your ego in order to give him maximum pleasure. Accept that your life belongs to him and his needs. Understand that you exist to serve him completely.
Faggots understand these truths about themselves, and that makes them perfect servants of Men. Until women come to accept them, Men will continue to turn to faggots for the worship they know they deserve.
Your advice to pussyboys writing you to find out how to find an Alpha is always spot on— get out there and make an effort!. Exhibit clear signals at the gym. Give men you suspect are Alphas compliments, Offer to do things to make their lives easier. Be on the lookout for opportunities.
I have a great recent success story in this vein that might amuse you. I stopped by a bar on a mid-week evening to grab a drink on the way home. Very light crowd, no big deal. I was just finishing my beer when a handsome, small-framed dude in his mid-thirties said hi and asked me if I knew where this other bar was, he was out of town and was looking it up on his phone. I got a strong Alpha vibe off him right away. My CockyTop training kicked in immediately and I told him it was close by, and I asked if he was using Uber or a rental car. He told me he was going to Uber, so I said I’d drop him off. Pleasant conversation during the ride, zero sexy talk or flirting. Even so, when we got there I made sure to park in a dark spot just in case. He did not immediately open the door, so I acted quickly and undid my seat belt and bent over so my face was hovering just above his crotch. I thought this might hit the right note of demonstrating my availability but not be too aggressive. He instantly unbuckled, yanked out his cock and shoved my head down on it. He was already fully hard, so I knew we were in synch. He had a genuine beer can, impossibly thick and shorter in length. He clearly liked to be sucked to the absolute root, so I stretched my lips to the limit, even forcing my mouth down to show him I take direction. I was buried in his thick bush, his wonderful cock fully filling my pussy mouth, the head lodged nicely in my throat opening. Right away he took my head in both hands and worked me up and down in total fleshlight mode, jacking himself off with my pussy mouth. About three minutes later he unloaded down my throat. I remained vacuum-sealed down on his root until he pulled my head off, packed that hog back in his pants, said thanks and exited the car to continue his evening.
Before CockyTop, there’s a lot about this story that would have disappointed me: the brief amount of time, the lack of opportunity to show any actual cocksucking skills, not being able to hold that thick shaft in my hand, I never got to service or even see his balls, not to mention the chance to feel that hog in my pussy… but after CockyTop, an experience like this was total bliss. Serving an Alpha and providing what he needed exactly how he needed it, that’s my purpose and it feels great. I helped him unload what I’m sure was just the first load of the night, taking the edge off so he could enjoy the rest of his evening.
So thanks again for the blog and all the great advice.
With respect, SIR
Thanks for the story boy. Good work figuring out what that Alpha needed and having the courage to speak up and provide it. I hope other pussyboys like you share their stories to inspire better service to Alphas everywhere
Fuck. This would make my year.
This goes back to one of my huge points for fags: you must be BRAVE. Alphas will know what to do with you instantly if you’re brave enough to give them the understanding that you’re here to serve them.
Thank you so much, my brother!
When I started this site, I wanted it to be more than simply a bunch of reposted pictures and videos with simple captions attached to them. You can find that everywhere on Tumblr. Instead, I wanted the site to be a place to share my thoughts and feelings about being a faggot in the service of Men. The privilege of serving Men is very profound for me; it informs every aspect of my life. I couldn’t do it justice by simply grabbing images from the Internet and reposting them here. I wanted it to be about me and about the others who understand this need to serve.
Really, I have bigger plans for this message, but my insecurities and constant striving for unreasonable perfection keep derailing those plans. Hopefully I can overcome these hurdles and bring deeper and more fulfilling content in the near future.
Again, thank you very much for those encouraging words! They are like droplets of water in the desert!
Chances are you know a younger submissive dude who’s never sucked a dick but should. So you put on some pussy porn, unzip your fly and, without even looking at him, you pull out your half-hard dick.
You comment on the big tits of one of the girls in the movie, even though you know that all he’s looking at is your meat. So you light a smoke, look him in the eye and see him weakening. You tell him to stroke it for you and he does, grasping your cock and jacking it slow as you continue watching the movie.
Eventually, you reach for the back of his head, guide him between your legs and tell him to lick it, kiss it and, finally, put it in his mouth. Once he starts to suck, you acknowledge what he’s doing. (“Yeah, that’s good, suck my big fucking cock…”) You give him orders. (“Lick the shaft, down to my balls, then up again, and back in your mouth.”) Make him feel totally dominated and helpless, and make him continue sucking till you cum in his mouth.
After that, no matter what he does, he’ll always be a cocksucker.
My life changed the first time I put a Man’s cock in my mouth.
What was it exactly? Was it the sight of his hard, shiny cock head dripping with pre-cum? The texture of his baby-smooth foreskin moving over the long, rigid shaft of his giant dick? Was it the sweet aroma of testosterone and sweat emanating from his balls? Was it the taste of those first powerful spurts of his cum flooding over my tongue?
Or perhaps it was more than physical sensations of his dick that triggered me. Perhaps it was the way his hands firmly gripped my head, the way his fists tightened around clumps of my hair. Perhaps it was the steady thrusts of his hips, forcing me to take his cock deeper into my throat. Maybe it was the sound of his voice, low and guttural, moaning and grunting with pleasure. Maybe it was looking up at him as he fucked my mouth, his face relaxed in a state of pure bliss. Maybe it was the feeling of his body shuddering with powerful orgasms as he held me down and dumped his load inside of my throat.
Whatever it was that changed me that day, I am grateful. I am proud to devote my life to serve the needs of Men.
Men have always enjoyed the sight of a cocksucker serving their big Alpha dicks.
Most of the time, the cocksucker is a woman. It’s natural, of course. Occasionally, a woman might even like sucking cock, although most seem to do it as part of her “chores” as a potential mate.
But a cocksucking faggot is different. The faggot treasures any opportunity to kneel before a Man and suck his cock. For a faggot, putting its lips around a Man’s cock is the culmination of its existence, the important work it will ever do.
What makes a male human submit so thoroughly to another Man this way? What makes a cocksucking faggot so eager to please that it will go through any humiliation or degradation in order to taste a Man?
Men don’t ask questions. They simply accept the service and move on.
Not at all. I’m not sure how, but I think you missed the point of my “Reality Check” article (read here).
I even say at the end of the article that my entire life is devoted to serving Men. I have not changed my mind about this course of life. It is extremely important to me. It brings me a fulfillment I’ve never known elsewhere.
However, I wrote the article because eventually I will become too old to serve most Men. Let’s face reality: Men desire young, firm, attractive flesh. Sure, they’ll take an older, uglier, fatter servant if they must, but even older Men are constantly on the prowl for the youngest and most attractive servants they can get.
And older Men can often get younger, hotter fags because many of these fags have a Daddy complex anyway. On the other hand, it is VERY rare for a younger Man to desire an old fag.
And that’s the conundrum: growing older as a fag and still finding fulfillment.
And let me add this: heterosexual relationships can provide fulfillment in later life because of the children/grandchildren produced through them. That cannot be replicated by a fag begging for Alpha loads when he’s 65 years old no matter how you spit-shine the facts.
It seemed fairly obvious when I wrote it the first time. Hopefully you understand it better now.
Why Write This?
The perfect submissive is like an unrealized sculpture inside a block of marble.
Most people have it inside of themselves. Training and practice and even meditation are required to carve that block of marble into a better shape. As a piece of rock beginning to assume the shape of a submissive, i have been assigned the task of writing an essay explaining why i (@enforcedchastityuniforms) am a fag, why my Master Alpha (@master-alpha) is a superior Alpha Male, and why our lifestyles must necessarily differ accordingly. In writing this piece, i hope to answer some questions from my fag perspective about what all these terms signify and how they shape the behaviors and thoughts of those who identify with them.
For part of any submissive’s training must be to realize the motives behind their thought processes and behavior, as well as how it connects to other’s mindsets. Only through this sort of contemplation, whether covert or overt, can one approach more closely the shape of an ideal boi, fag, slave, sissy, or little. And so we begin by analyzing how fags differ from other types of submissives.
The word “fag” might disturb some. It is, after all, the antithesis of “man,” the semantically bleached word referring to male humans, and sometimes to humans more generally. In contrast, “fag” is loaded with baggage and meaning. With an American origin, deriving from “faggot,” meaning a bundle of wood to be used as fuel, it has come to verbalize a homophobic attitude, or on the contrary, to emphasize how “flaming” and flamboyant gay behavior can be, often as a reclaimed term used for the intent of promoting gay self-determination.
However, rather than using “fag” in the interest of raising the respectability of the term, many self-deemed “fags” like the author use it to demean themselves. Instead of using the word exactly as it has been traditionally used, and in spite of those who wish to elevate the term, we take the historically negative connotations and put a twist on them. The historical baggage it carries, of a separate class of men somehow invisibly subordinate to the mainstream, we utilize to express our submissive natures.
This reinterpretation may stem in part from a second but apparently etymologically unrelated word, the British “fag,” which started out as a verb related to “flag” that denoted tedious labor, and eventually developed into a noun meaning a younger boy pupil who was obligated in exchange for mentorship, support, and structure to serve the needs of an older boy student at one of Britain’s prestigious single-sex schools.
The use of this word is even closer to the usage of the kink “fag,” especially when one considers that these students were often punished by writing lines or receiving corporal punishment, and were sometimes forced to satisfy their masters’ sexual needs. Just as the younger students were forced to serve older ones in an often homoerotic relationship driven by power inequality, so fags like me are bound to submit to Alphas in a similar type of homoerotic power exchange.
In spite of the term’s blatantly gay origins, however, many fags now use the term to apply to any subordinate male, whether straight, gay, or otherwise. Instead of singling out queer men as a target of ridicule, the term now serves to express the overlapping identities of submissive and male in a way that gender-neutral epithets like “sub,” “slave,” or “little” cannot adequately capture. We see that the weakness stereotypically associated with gays has been isolated and turned into a feature in and of itself— the controversial nature of at least the American “fag” serves to reinforce a feeling of humiliation and degradation already captured by the British term.
Despite this new phenomenon, it is difficult to escape the past of both “fag” words’ loaded meanings. While many fags point out that “fag” could be used to refer to straight men, in practice it almost always refers to a gay or sometimes bi man who enjoys yielding to a superior male. In this way, “fag” represents the need of submissive queer men to establish a world of their own, and feel uniquely valued for what they are and who they want to be.
“Alpha,” in contrast to “fag,” has always expressed a sense of primacy, strength, and even intelligence. Deriving originally from the Phoenician word ’alp, or “ox,” which connotes strength and initiative, the word “alpha” indicated the first letter of the Greek alphabet, the first alphabetic writing system to innovate vowels, of which alpha took the first place in the order of letters.
In fact, the word “alphabet” is derived from the first and second letters of the Greek script, and so “alpha” may also evoke literacy, and from that intelligence and power. Even other types of writing systems, such as abugidas and abjads, also derive their names partly from cognates of “alpha.”
But even more than that, “alpha” means first, best, and brightest, as with stars in a constellation, or, more directly, dogs in a pack. The application of these meanings to a sociological context is the origin of the kink “Alpha,” which always stands capitalized to reinforce that the Alpha male, like the top dog in the pack, exerts control over all those in his group, and develops an attitude of swagger as a consequence. From “ox,” “alpha” has somehow progressed through various writing systems to apply to dogs and even people!
in this way we see that while “fag” has somehow survived through a short and tumultuous history, there has never been any doubt that “alpha” has enjoyed a long and illustrious past. Just as fags are meant to serve Alphas, so even etymologically the terms are grossly unequal in pedigree and status.
“Fag’s” origin as a word meaning “bundle of firewood” speaks to fags’ utility and worth as a tool, but also to their ultimate submission: that firewood is destined for the fire. On the other hand, “alpha’s” origin as a word meaning “ox” speaks to their strength and masculine superiority. Oxen were always well-respected as a source of power and in some cultures were buried alongside their masters, as in parts of rural China, or their bones worshipped at altars, as in the Neolithic town of Çatal Hüyük. Think of India’s longstanding veneration of oxen and cows.
And so it is with the modern senses of “fag” and “Alpha” in a kink context. “Fags” are meant to be dragged along and bent into shape by their “Alphas” just as oxen, trusted with the task of transporting and guiding along firewood, must pull along and bend firewood.
Happily enough, both oxen and firewood are created by other forces, and it would be inappropriate for a non-wooden object to be turned into a bundle of firewood and even more inappropriate for some other creature to be treated as an ox. Alphas and fags are not meant to turn other people into what they desire. Rather, they must recognize their own nature and train to become better at what they are.
For fags, self-improvement and self-realization mean learning to serve, to not shirk away from bending oneself to the will of an Alpha. They mean learning to live as an inferior in a world of predominantly superiors, to reject one’s superficial privilege as a man and instead embrace a lower status bestowed by society, by Alphas, and most importantly by oneself.
And for Alphas, they mean learning to effectively assert control over others and maintain that control, to discover one’s true needs and desires and satisfy those in a manner compatible with the fag who does so. They mean exuding confidence that is genuine and developing one’s internal stability. An Alpha is in control of Themselves even more than They are of their fags.
Why do we do this?
Now that we have seen the origins of the terms Alpha and fag, and how the terms contrast in a kink context, we are ready to finally answer the questions that were laid out at the beginning of this piece. Why am i a fag? Why is Master Alpha an Alpha? And why do we live and relate so differently?
i am a fag because i have realized i am most comfortable with a controlled lifestyle. i am happiest when there are rules and regulations in my life, and in particular i find pleasure in having my orgasm controlled by an Alpha. i am happy when there are fewer choices in my lifestyle. It is easier for me this way.
Besides the ability to adopt a more streamlined and parsimonious mode of existence, i also find i am most comfortable when at a lower status. It is a feeling i have always had, even since childhood. Lower status does not equal lesser worth, but rather signifies a perception that my role is not to manage others and satisfy my own needs, but rather to be managed and satisfy others’ desires. i find particular happiness in vicarious pleasure. In other words, i am happiest when i am making another happy, especially by serving them. This aspect of my psychology, combined with my love for control and desire for low status, is a key characteristic of a fag.
In contrast, Master Alpha is an Alpha because He is most comfortable taking the lead and satisfying His needs through others. He also enjoys power for power’s sake, or imposing rules onto His fags just for the pleasure of it. Of course, this also has the effect of simplifying their lives even more, which means that His commands have a beneficial effect upon both parties.
And, being an Alpha, He is happiest when surrounded by inferiors so that He may have complete freedom in exerting His cocky attitude. He is meant to be venerated and held in the highest esteem by those around Him. By restricting His fags’ orgasms He in turn becomes the focus of improved service quality, and is able to make His dick a symbol of Alpha male authority. This Alpha/fag dichotomy in terms of access to one’s genitals also helps to cement in place a physical and mental distinction between Master Alpha and His fags.
Through all of these processes that redistribute power, control, status, and physical pleasure, both Alphas and fags are able to be shaped into improved Dominants and submissives. By getting rid of their unwanted attributes and practices, and gifting a part of themselves to the other party, they are able to live closer to what feels natural for them, not just as unequals in power but more importantly as better human beings capable of feeling great empathy and being in possession of a high state of self-realization.
Finally, thank You Sir Master Alpha for providing this fag the opportunity to write a reflection on what makes him a fag, and what makes Him an Alpha, and why. As this continues to be an important part of both of our lives, and those of countless others, the necessity of understanding the basis of the Alpha/fag dynamic will only become more important in our lives. Thank you/You for taking the time to read through this meditation.
This is a highly-informative and thoughtful piece about faggots and Alphas and the importance of both. Very well done.
I love derogatory comments from anonymous morons with poor grammar!
First of all, I never said I was necessarily young or good looking. Here’s what I do have working for me: intelligence, a sense of humor, loyalty, a solid work ethic, and a positive, inquisitive personality. I’ve found that Alphas appreciate those qualities more than they do any physical aspects I have.
All of those qualities I just mentioned are ones you apparently lack. And you’re ugly/bald on top of those deficiencies. Must really be tough for you, little faggot.
Instead of anonymously whining to a stranger over the Internet, why don’t you work on your personality? While you’re at it, sign up for a remedial English class at your local community college.
This morning I received a message (read that here) from a young bottom that really annoyed me. After letting it stew for a while, I decided that something needed to be said about growing older in the gay lifestyle, and, in particular, growing older as a fag.
To do so, I’ll need to use two short stories. Please indulge me just this once (wink).
Many years ago I met an Alpha named Christian. I haven’t spoken about Christian here (at least not yet) primarily because he remains one of my closest friends. Christian is straight (currently married with four kids), but before he married we messed around a little bit. At one point things seemed to be getting a little serious between us, and this disturbed Christian because he had no previous encounters with males and had never imagined he would find himself interested in another male.
A few days after our final encounter Christian sat me down to tell me that we couldn’t continue seeing each other sexually. I’ll never forget his words to me that night:
I love you. I want to keep your friendship. But I’ve been thinking about the homosexual lifestyle, and, as far as I can tell, it’s a dead end. It doesn’t lead anywhere productive.
His words stabbed me in the heart. While I don’t totally agree with his conclusion, I understand it. Homosexual partnerships don’t produce children, rarely produce lasting relationships, and homosexuals often end up alone and occasionally rejected by their loved ones. That’s generally the reality of the situation.
As I pondered his painful words over the next few days, my mind wandered to an old homosexual I knew a few years prior named Earl.
Almost immediately after the rape I moved into a big townhouse. I was hoping to make a fresh start, but instead I tried to erase the troubling memory with alcohol and drugs. The townhouse was more than I needed, but it was part of my attempt to “reboot” myself after a traumatizing experience.
Below my townhouse was a small one bedroom apartment rented by a decrepit, 60-something homosexual named Earl. He would sit outside of our building every day in a ratty old lawn chair, a pot of plastic flowers on the ground nearby, and endlessly smoke cigarettes. I remember how Earl had lumpy cholesterol deposits on his eyelids. He would always wear slippers because his feet were twisted and mangled to the point that he couldn’t walk without pain. Earl was friendly enough, but he was obviously all used up and in very poor shape.
Of course, Earl disgusted me at the time. I would prance past him every day in a suit and tie while he eyed up my young, skinny frame. Earl would constantly try to engage me in small talk, but I’d quickly wriggle free of it. Sometimes Earl would give me a sack full of homemade cookies (they always smelled like cigarettes) that I would instantly hurl into the trash. Here I am, this hot young thing! I don’t have time for some old, broken-down fag!
I never thought about Earl as anything other than some ancient, cartoonishly grotesque queer until Christian said those words to me a few years later. Ever since then, I’ve regarded Earl as a warning example.
When we’re young and gay, we think the party will never end. Our bodies will always be slender and firm. Guys will always want us. We will never be alone. When we’re young, we think love and commitment and fidelity are “old people” burdens that will fall in our lap whenever we decide we want them.
Of course, it doesn’t usually work out so easily as the years pass.
For fags, the road is even more treacherous. While fags generally don’t have a desire for love and marriage, they do have a deep yearning to serve Men. That’s easy to accomplish when a fag is supple and fresh with youth, but as time takes a toll, a fag will eventually find itself struggling to find fulfillment. Facing that reality can be quite difficult.
There are many blogs like mine on Tumblr (and elsewhere) touting the fag/Alpha dynamic. I realize some of these are “fantasy” blogs (in other words, the writer isn’t actually living as a fag or an Alpha), but many (like mine) are real. I am actually a faggot. Many of my readers are either fags, or they’re Alphas who use fags. This isn’t some temporary fetish experiment for me. No, my entire life is devoted to the service and worship of Men. I have many readers who feel the same way.
The reality of the immutable effects of time presents each of us with an important problem: how do we find fulfillment and emotional security after we lose the bloom of youth? How do we grow old with dignity while still feeling sexually and emotionally satisfied?
I don’t mean to bring down the mood of this Tumblr party, but I can’t in good conscience promote such a lifestyle without also warning of the “dead end” all fags must eventually face. I have had the privilege to serve many great Men, incredible Alphas to whom I have given all of my devotion and energy. I have been blessed to know them and serve them.
However, such devotion will eventually come at a personal cost to myself. Facing that eventuality will prove to be one of the greatest challenges of my life and of the lives of any fags reading this. How do we avoid ending up broken-down and alone like poor Earl?
Being a fag isn’t a fantasy, it’s reality. And fulfilling a destiny as a true fag ultimately carries with it real consequences. Are we ready for those consequences?
Getting fucked often involves pain for the fag. Especially when your hole is tight.
How often have I been fucked by an Alpha who would whisper in my ear: “it feels so good” while I was starting to panic, biting my lips, because of the pain I felt.
The pain can come from various sources:
1 – your hole may be tight, too tight. That’s a good thing though. I see that some Alphas are encouraging fags to widen and wear out their holes by playing with dildos and other anal gear. But in reality there are few Tops that really advocate this. alphas usually want their bottoms with tight holes. It provides more friction. A hole that is tight wraps around an Alpha’s cock in a better way and provides more pleasure. So if anything, I would advocate for keeping your hole tight and in shape. The sphincter muscle around your hole can be trained (just google it) and bottoms should actually refrain from stretching their holes with dildos. THE ONLY THING THAT SHOULD PENETRATE YOU IS YOUR ALPHA’S COCK.
2 – the shape of your Alpha’s cock. Dicks come in all different forms and shapes. I noticed for myself that there are some that inevitably will cause some pain because of how they penetrate your hole and how they thrust into your anus. I.e. For me long upward bending dicks are difficult to handle. You are able to mitigate the pain by moving your pelvic with very small and subtle movements in a certain direction. I.e. See if it helps to rotate the hips very subtly. Whatever you do, make sure you don’t disturb your Alpha’s fucking. Your pain should not come into his way.
3 – too little spit or lube. Easy one. Sometimes an Alpha just wants to fuck and he can’t bother to spit or lube your hole. In general, it is of course the bottom’s job to lube the hole. An alpha should have easy access to your hole anytime and you must not annoy him with the logistics of this. I know of some bottoms that simply lube their hole anytime they leave their house, and have a bottle of lube with them. Lubing your hole can become a routine, like brushing your teeth. Some alphas though like it raw – without lube and spit. In this case you just have to endure the pain.
4 – lastly, some alphas will afflict pain on you on purpose. They will thrust their dicks into you and indulge in watching how you bite your lips and how you try hiding the expression of pain in your face. If you serve such an Alpha, just remember it’s his right to do so. You are his and you have no say whatsoever in how he uses you. You have to learn to endure the pain like the good slut you are.
In any case, my key message here is THAT YOUR PAIN IS YOUR PROBLEM AND THAT IT MUST NOT GET INTO YOUR ALPHA’S WAY.
Sometimes it’s tough to be a fag. But when u made the decision to be a fag, you also decided that the sex is not about you but about your Alpha. You have to remember this. You have given yourself to a Man.
For me, sometimes when the fucking hurts, I am still getting hard over the thought that I provide immense pleasure to my top and that he will pet me on my head after the fucking, telling me what a good fag I was.
Some good tips here. I especially agree with the point that a fag should not be constantly stretching out their holes. Time is hard on the body, and eventually an “exercised” fag’s hole will be loose and unappealing.
A fag would certainly never speak about a Man as if he were “just a dildo attached to a hot body.” A fag recognizes a Man as a superior being worthy of service in whatever way the Man requires. A fag would never “feel nothing for them” after serving a Man. Instead, a fag would crave the Man even more.
I don’t really mean any offense by saying this, but you sound like a selfish bottom. Your profile says you’re 19 years old, and you sound like it. I’ve known far too many flaming young bottoms who prance around being “bossy” (read: bitchy) and think the world should kiss their firm, scantily-clad asses. For these annoying, self-centered gnats, the party isn’t ever going to end.
But it will.
You see, eventually life and age start to take their toll, and, unless you become a super-successful fashion designer or gossip columnist, your “bossiness” and general lack of concern for anyone but yourself becomes tiresome and gross. Also sad.
Start looking for value in your sexual experiences. Learn to give. Discover that the Man in bed with you is more than just a “dildo” or a “hot body.” Stop being superficial. Become a deeper, more appreciative and grateful person so your later years will be richer and more rewarding.
Thank you for your message, Sir. I think many straight Alphas like you eventually come to understand and appreciate the level of worship and service they can receive from faggots. You are surrounded by fags eager to serve you, Sir. Claim as many as you need. They’re yours, as is the world.
Thank you again for your attention and encouragement, Sir.
As a fag, it’s sometimes tough to look at a Man and a woman fucking. It reinforces a painful truth: a Man is built to penetrate a breed a woman.
He’s bigger and physically stronger than she is, his presence imposing as he lays his heavy body upon her. The hard head of his cock is perfect for opening soft pussy lips. His solid shaft makes an excellent ram to stretch her vaginal walls. With every thrust, her muscles contract around him, sensually stroking him back. His weighty balls tighten, ready to deliver a payload of his DNA deep inside her.
A Man uses a fag like me because I’m convenient and without limits. He knows I will serve him without obligation or commitment. However, his every instinct urges him to enter a vagina and pump it full of cum. He wants soft breasts in his hands and a moist, muscular vagina milking his giant Alpha cock.
He will use me, but I’m only a replacement for what he was built to fuck.
Faggot, this is not just about sex. This is about me using and owning your body. This is about you doing exactly what I say, to serve and please me. This is about a certain dominance and superiority, hierarchy. Nature. You will fall in love with me, that is inevitable. You’ll think we’re friends. We’re not. You will attempt to contact me and you’ll want more than I will ever give you. Your expectations will be shattered. I’ll break your heart. And I could give a fuck. It’s about me using you to get off. Your emotions are not my concern. My continued discretion and anonymity is the only thing I care about as I walk out your door after your body has been used to satisfy my voracious appetite.
Just like this. Every fucking time. Just like this.
I’m pretty embarrassed by the faggot in the photo above. With its tightly-pursed lips and scrunched-up look of frustration, does that fag look happy to receive the Man’s cum?
If you’re a faggot, focus on why you’re going down on a Man’s cock in the first place. You’re there for a reason: to provide a service for a Man. The reward for your jaw-busting efforts is several substantial squirts of his cum either on your face or down your throat.
You have a Man’s cock in your mouth in order to produce this moment of bliss for him. Why suddenly become nauseous or revolted at the glorious moment of his climax?
When a Man cums, he validates your existence as a faggot. His faggot. He blesses you with a substance that contains his very essence. His cum is a powerful, life-giving liquid. His wall-rattling orgasm and the heavy streams of cum he gives to you is a privilege beyond compare.
Open your mouth. Receive his seed. And always say “thank you, Sir.”
Unlike other Men, Black Men and Black Alphas are much more comfortable using other people and have an otherworldly ability to detect submission in others.
Definitely do not offer yourself to the entire group – that should be obvious. A pack mentality occurs and you could end up getting hurt. Instead, pick out the two Alphas you’re most attracted to and start offering to do things for them. They have bathrooms, right? Offer to clean them (”I was just cleaning my bathroom and thought I might do yours while I’m at it”). Making food for them might be more difficult, but perhaps you could start doing things like making a food run late at night (”I’m headed out to Taco Bell … can I get you guys anything?”).
Once you get in better with them, certain well-timed compliments can be an aphrodisiac to Alpha Men. By then, however, they will probably look at you like a bitch and start using you involuntarily. Like I said, Black Men have keen instincts for this kind of behavior.
Warning, though: If you’re good at sucking dick, don’t be surprised if you find yourself passed around, Black Men aren’t shy about sharing such information with others.
Dear Straight Men and Alphas,
Study that picture carefully. Can you see the bliss on the cocksucker’s face? Can you appreciate how the cocksucker still craves a Man’s dick even after finishing the job? Do you marvel at the absolute devotion the cocksucker has for pleasing a Man?
That is the kind of service you deserve as Men. That is the kind of service you can expect when you own a faggot.
A faggot worships you as a god. You cock is the center of a faggot’s life, your commands and desires are laws to that faggot as if they were written in stone. A woman may take care of you from time to time, but a faggot surrenders its life to you and your pleasure.
A faggot loves your aggressive, selfish midnight fucks. A faggot loves the masculine smells of your body. A faggot loves the taste of your sweaty balls, your hairy ass. A faggot loves the feeling of your cock down its throat, the heavy pulse of your ejaculations, the salty taste of your seed. A faggot loves every yank of its hair, every slap, every deep, guttural moan. There is nothing a faggot doesn’t worship about you, a real Man.
There is a faggot out there desperate to serve you. That faggot will do whatever you want, however you want, for as long as you want. All the faggot wants in return is your ownership and your pleasure.
You are Men born to be served as a Kings. You were born to be worshiped. Take ownership of a faggot, and you will finally receive the adoration and exaltation befitting your status as Men.
I am grateful to hear experiences like yours. Yes, the first Alpha can be quite intoxicating (frankly, all Alphas are, but that first one is really a doozy!). Hopefully you can keep a level head and remember your place. Also remember that all Alphas deserve their space. Remember, you are not his wife. You are his possession.
Please keep me informed about your situation and share your experiences as you fulfill your purpose in life!!
Since I’m a fag, I cannot know what goes through a Man’s mind when he sees me on my knees worshiping his feet. Perhaps it amuses him. It might even make him sad or disgusted.
But hopefully he also feels something of the immense respect and honor I feel for him. Hopefully my worship fills him with pride. Hopefully he understands that he rules the world and I am, as his servant, simply giving him the glory he rightly deserves.
Thank you my friend. If you ever need to talk, let me know. I’m always available.
Will the faggot ever know the satisfaction of the conquest? The satisfaction of the seduction, flirting and smirking at a young beta knowing you’re making his man pussy wet. The male princess, always easy prey. Or the satisfaction of rubbing your heavy nutsack on a faggot’s chin as you slap your fat cock across his face. And wonder why he so enjoys looking up at you under your cock do much. You thump thump thump your boner across his face. Dominance. Or the satisfaction of the fuck. The RUT of it, pumping in and out both bodies in unison. Yeah it feels fucking fantastic but will the beta ever appreciate the shear satisfaction of the entirety of the Act. From beginning to end. One man seducing another for his selfish pleasure. The cum spews. The endorphins flood. And you walk away waiting for the next conquest. No giving a fuck if the faggot has cum as you leave.
just like this. Every fucking time. Just like this.
In general, no. Faggots don’t even comprehend the Male urge to overpower, use, and conquer.
However, faggots can know conquering of another sort. I have experienced this multiple times as I’ve turned a few straight Men. These are Men who never seriously considered using a Man until they found themselves with me. After a period of cat and mouse, I managed to get them to use me. In and of itself, that is a form of conquering. I had my quarry, I pursued my quarry, and I eventually conquered my quarry.
It’s just not the same as the way a Man might conquer something.
I never suggested the event was good or even acceptable. However, there are many shadows and dark secrets in male sexuality. Some of what makes a Man “masculine” can be considered unpleasant or even repugnant, but it doesn’t do any good to pretend it doesn’t exist.
Thank you very much for your thoughts and concerns. I do appreciate it.
When I first wrote about the rape that took my anal virginity several years ago (full story here), I was nervous about the response I might receive. Aside from a couple of very close friends, I had never really discussed the event at all. I figured I would probably hear from other victims, or perhaps receive messages of condolence or comfort.
But instead I received nothing at all.
At first I was mildly offended; I bared my darkest secret and nobody even cared! My vague disappointment eventually melted into a sort of resignation. After all, it was long ago, and it really doesn’t affect my life much anymore.
But as I thought deeply about the lack of response, the more it made sense to me. Why should anyone console me over an event that is simply part of the natural order of things?
Mind you, I’m not condoning rape in any way. For women, rape is a traumatizing violation of their being that utterly destroys their sense of security and self-worth. It is a despicable and inexcusable crime.
But we rarely talk about male rape. Even when we do, we talk about it in the hushed tones of a secret society. Instinctively, males understand other males. We know about male pecking orders, survival of the fittest, and the struggle for domination that often defines our masculinity. We understand the drive, the impulse, that fuels our lusts. In certain circumstances, we might even be openly honest about our collective understanding, but mostly we acknowledge it with silence and nods.
I bet that some of the Men who read that rape experience – if they’re honest – would admit to some amount of pride in what Kenny did to me that night. They understand it. Kenny was acting violently on his own sexual impulse to dominate me, and so he took what he wanted from me. I suspect there are many Men who, in their darkest and most honest place, fully understand and even approve of Kenny’s actions that night.
Here’s the crazy part: I do, too. Again, it was a traumatizing experience for me. However, I also instinctively know that, as a faggot, Men will use me as they wish. I am lower on the pecking order. I am weak. I am submissive. My role is to serve the needs of Men, and by resisting that natural order, I triggered a fight for dominance that I eventually lost.
Deep down, underneath all of the political correctness, Men understand this truth about each other.
We see this every time another female teacher fucks an underaged boy. By law, that is a rape. Morally, people should be outraged by this shocking crime against a child. Social media goes wild with breathless shock every time it happens.
But Men are never outraged by such a crime, are they? Instead, every Man across the country wants to high-five the kid for getting some pussy off of a teacher. Even while acknowledging the crime, Men in their honest moments take some pride in the act.
Prison sex is another example. Straight Men constantly rape each other in prison, mostly as a show of dominance or
aggression. As males, we intrinsically understand and accept this about
each other, often in unspoken ways. “You gotta do what you gotta do” becomes the curt shorthand for the things Men do in difficult, secret, or desperate times. We may not publicly agree but we rarely judge because we know the needs and pressures of the male spirit within each of us.
On the surface, I don’t think anyone is happy I was raped. However, I think Men understand that the rape reinforced the natural order between Men. As I mentioned in my original experience, the rape helped me accept my true nature as a faggot. The rape helped me embrace what I truly was in comparison to other Men.
Men may not admit this in public, but in the silence of their own masculinity they know it is simply part of the natural order between us. Deep down, the animal within them approves.
You kneel before for him. You know this is exactly what he expects, what he likes. You drop his trousers, as you feel is hands press the back of your head forward. You inhale deeply breathing the stud Alpha into your lungs. He’s in you now becoming absorbed into your body to his sense. It begins. His musky scent after a day of work smells delicious, better than you ever will. You inhale again and you feel your head get dizzy. Down go his underwear as you take in his limp 5 inches into your warm open mouth. So meaty, salty flesh. And you feel it get hard; filling heavy on your tongue, filling your throat. What could possibly be going on in your mind at this stage? Here, two masculine men on the outside, but one serves the other in private. The Alpha does what is natural for him – finding a faggot to please him and take his load at lunchtime. The beta, dropping to your knees in search of a man like him. Hanging your masculinity, virility and dominance at the door. He gets rough, fucking and soaking your throat, making you gag. He’s a man, and he does what comes genetically/naturally, just to get off. And you spit and you gag and you whimper, submitting yourself to another man. How do you rectify that with the man that you are on the outside. Your masculine persona. Betas amaze me in how the can conceal their true selves. Male sexuality, it’s complicated.
Just like this. Every fucking time. Just like this.
Some men conceal their desire to serve a Man behind a “masculine persona.” I do not hide. Even though I am distinctly male and not even particularly “flaming,” everybody knows that I am a faggot born to serve Men. Even people who mistakenly think I’m straight have said that they think I would be a bottom in a gay relationship.
I just smile, contented. Every part of my life as a faggot is a submissive testament to the power of real Men.
Thank you, Sir! I always appreciate hearing from Alphas like you!
Hopefully there are faggots visiting my page who want to serve you the way you deserve. Get busy, fags!
I DARE you to find a white boy that looks this good. Every ounce of this young nigger just screams power and strength. The white race stands no chance against gods like this.
That look in his eyes! What is that look? Disgust? Revulsion? Lust? Confidence?
Possibly a mixture of everything … and it’s hot.
Lately I’ve been reblogging more posts from Tumblrs like @destroywhiteboys because, as you may have already noticed, I tend to prefer black Men.
The vast majority of Men I have served in the past were black. Some of that has to do with my big round ass, which they love to slap around. But I also seek them out because so many of them have Alpha personalities that attract me to them.
Why do so many black Men have Alpha personalities? I think at least some of that swagger and confidence comes from their larger-than-average dicks. Yes, the rumors are most certainly true. In all of my experience, I’ve never seen a black dick smaller than eight inches, and most were so thick I couldn’t get my hand around them. They were all incredible, monumental cocks.
Now, I’m no size queen. Ultimately, I’m not serving a cock, I’m serving a Man. However, the tendency of black Men to exhibit Alpha tendencies seems to be related to the size of their cocks. I’ve spoken about the importance of cock size as it relates to Alpha personalities (read that here), and black Men seem to support that theory. From an early age a black Male begins to notice that his cock is larger and thicker than the cocks on other boys. When he gets a little older, he starts to notice that women of all races and fags want to see it, touch, it, taste it. This gives him power, a power he derives from having a large dick. That power informs the rest of his self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
I’ll tell you a little story. When I was in high school my city was still attempting desegregation. City kids (read: black kids) would be bussed into my suburban, mostly white high school. Everybody hated it, and it caused more than a few fights.
One person who definitely didn’t hate it was Tyran. He was a tall, muscular black kid who ended up starring on our football team. Tyran could barely read or write, but he had one of the world’s greatest cocks. I remember walking through the locker room one afternoon and turning a corner only to see Tyran standing on a bench completely naked, his enormous limp dick hanging almost to his knees. Guys in the gym were gathered around him, staring at the prodigious endowment like they were witnessing the resurrection of Jesus.
Needless to say, Tyran bred almost every hot white girl in the school that year. He didn’t do that because these girls loved black Men (they do now, I’m sure), but because his giant cock gave him that swagger and confidence to take these girls despite being in a foreign, hostile environment. Tyran knew he was superior to other males around him (as he showed in the locker room that day), and so he took whatever he wanted.
Like Tyran, black Men not only love their huge dicks, but they love using their huge dicks on others. I think that explains why so many more black Men seem to be willing to use fags. Black Men love to shove their big dicks in any tight hole and listen to the screams of their victims. Black Men enjoy watching women and fags submit to their cock and worship it.
But cock size really only explains part of the reason why so many black Men demonstrate Alpha personalities. To understand it better, we need to look at the lives of blacks in most parts of the world. Almost 30% of the black population in America lives in complete poverty, and another large percentage live lower-class lives. In America, 60% of the prison population is African American.
The net effect of this generational poverty and crime is a “fight or flight” mentality among young black Males. Often raised without strong Male role models, these young black Males are forced to constantly assert their superiority among their peers, sometimes in violent and dangerous circumstances. They must either assert their dominance, or suffer the consequences.
That in some way explains why black Males are so dominant and aggressive sexually. A black Man often sees a sexual partner as something to be conquered. When a black Man is paired with a submissive partner, years of pecking order struggles informs how he handles that partner. A black Man instinctively knows what to do with a submissive partner and how to treat them.
As I’ve said, I’ve been with a lot of black Men. They were all cocky, aggressive, sexually-selfish (a good thing for a faggot like me), verbal, and sensual. Consistently, black Men love what many white Men might consider “dirty” sex (ass eating, for instance).
But, most of all, these black Men all understood and accepted my submissiveness as part of the natural order of things. They knew that, in order to be served, they needed fags like me willing to serve them. There was no shame in it. I was simply fulfilling a necessary role in a pecking order they’ve experienced for most of their lives.
By writing this, I’m not in any way suggesting that black Men are better Men than those of any other race. That is certainly not true. The last several generations of black Men are sorely lacking in certain respectable masculine qualities that would make them better fathers, husbands, employees, and leaders.
But those problems and their solutions are far beyond the capabilities of one little faggot like me simply seeking to serve Alpha Males. In the meantime, I recommend that my fag followers seek to diligently serve black Men. I also encourage my Alpha followers to watch the confidence of black Men around them. Black Alpha Men have much to teach us about our respective roles and how to best fulfill them.
Texas Alpha doesn’t strike me as the kind of Man who would want his ass licked, but of course one never knows for sure. TA’s friend, however, does seem like that kind of guy..
I first met Texas Alpha when he contacted me through this blog. He was looking for a fag to serve him. When he discovered that I didn’t live anywhere near him, he told me he wanted me to find him a fag to serve him locally. As you know, I did that quite spectacularly (#humblebrag).
When we first met, TA shared a couple of pics of his cock (very much appreciated, of course), but none of his face. I wasn’t too concerned by that because I understand issues of privacy in this matter. However, when TA started demanding that I send him gifts to use on his faggot (underwear, buttplugs, cages, etc.), he created a phony account on Amazon using the name of one of his college classmates. I only discovered this in a conversation with TA’s faggot. However, I again let the matter go.
But TA also kept promising pics and videos of himself as a “reward” for all of my useful service. Mind you, I never asked for those things, but he was promising them. Then he told me to buy him a device used to make molds of cocks (like the ones used in the movie NEIGHBORS). TA said he wanted to make me a mold of his cock and send it to me.
Of course, none of those things happened. I let it go until TA began demanding more things from me. At that point, I explained to him that it is difficult to serve a Man who repeatedly fails to live up to his promises. I also explained that his lack of trust in me (the phony Amazon account, the face pic issue) after everything I’ve done for him seems disingenuous to me.
He has refused to respond to those points thus far, which I find disappointing given that TA is a Man and someone to whom I have shown tremendous respect. I realize I’m just a faggot, but I’m not a particularly stupid or gullible faggot. I do expect a Man to be respectable and honorable given their higher station in life.
I don’t know if/when I will hear from TA. I do care a great deal about him and his needs, so it would be a shame if he decided to eliminate my service to him altogether. However, this is not unusual when you call a Man out on his shady behavior.
As I’ve said elsewhere, I was basically gay from birth. By the sixth grade, I had developed a crush on a boy named George (although I didn’t know what it meant at the time), and middle school/high school attractions to boys in class (Bob, I still miss you and your bulge in those tight pants!) further refined my obvious sexual orientation.
However, like most closeted gay youths, I was compelled to date girls in order to fit in with the budding heterosexual attractions of my closest friends. So, like a coward, I started dating girls.
My first few relationships were fulfilling in some way. Despite a general lack of attraction to their bodies, I was more than capable of performing sexually. Some of that probably had to do with the newness of sex in general, as well as the virulent hormones coursing through me at that age. Around that time I also discovered – much to my surprise – that I really loved boobs. For that period of time I was just like every other guy, dating a girl for a while in order to get some pussy before moving to the next one.
Of course, it was all a lie. I knew every kiss was a lie. I knew every thrust of my penis into a vagina was a lie. I knew every “I love you” was a lie. In the moment, it felt real to me; wet lips, warm bodies tangled, heavy sighs, and powerful, head-spinning orgasms. But in my quiet moments alone, a gnawing guilt remained.
When I met Roger (story here) I was dating a sweet, petite brunette named Lori. Unlike my previous girlfriends, Lori was a virgin. Lori spent months trying to convince me to take her virginity, but I kept resisting. We would lie in the grass of my backyard on breezy summer nights, Lori’s hips gyrating her tight pussy on my finger as if she wanted me to insert my entire arm. I would always stop these heavy petting sessions, leaving Lori breathless and confused. It was a frustrating time for both of us.
Once Roger entered my life, though, my inner truth became crystal clear. I suddenly became Lori, desperately trying to get Roger to deflower me. I knew right then that I needed to break it off with Lori; I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but Roger anymore. The end came a few months later when I didn’t give Lori anything for Valentine’s Day. Rightfully upset, Lori tearfully begged for a reason why I didn’t love her the way she loved me.
“I … just don’t,” I replied. The response was cold and cruel in that special way only selfish teenaged boys can master. And that mercifully ended my last relationship with a female.
Not long after that, Roger slid his enormous, granite-hard cock into my throat. I remember the feeling of his solid, swollen cock-head on my tongue, the salty taste of his foreskin, the firmness of his hands in my hair, and the look of disgusted lust in his eyes as he looked down on me. That first taste of a Man’s cock erased everything I imagined about my life before and reshaped it into something new.
However, I still hadn’t accepted the complete truth about myself. Even then, as Roger was using me as a human tube sock, I still believed that I could be loved. I would construct elaborate fantasies about being Roger’s lover, perhaps getting married somehow and building a life together. Every time he would throat fuck me I would try to make it terrific for him in the hope that he might finally leave his girlfriend for me.
It never happened. I found myself in love with him, flying into jealous, tearful rages and begging for a love that would never come. Eventually, my love-fueled hysterics ended our friendship.
All of these tragic, emotionally-devastating situations occurred only because I couldn’t be honest. I couldn’t accept the truth about myself. I once truly believed that I could be a straight Man, husband, and father. Then I believed I could be a gay Man, a partner, an equal in a committed relationship.
But, as time has passed, I’ve slowly accepted the truth: I am a faggot. I was not born to honor a wife or help raise children. I was not born to be the partner to a Man, the one who makes him smile every morning. I was not born to be loved or cherished or appreciated the way a spouse yearns for their mate or a child might look at a parent.
Instead, I was born to serve. I was born to serve Men. My holes are theirs to use. The works of my hands are theirs to take. My mind is theirs to plunder. My body, mind, and heart exist only to glorify their Masculine superiority.
Men have instinctively known this truth about me my entire life. Ever since Roger first pushed me to my knees in order to receive service, Men have been using me to get what they want. Deep down, they know that I’m nothing but a faggot born to serve them.
I just needed to understand it about myself before I could actually be free.
Texas Alpha and I are currently experiencing some trust issues. I think I have served him as well as I possibly could, but he doesn’t think that service has earned his trust. We’ll see where it goes from here.