Well, now I’ve done it.
My Wednesday post “Why Some Fags Don’t Get Erections” touched off more discussion than I ever imagined, particularly with some Doms I follow. One articulate Dom, @tomthedom80, responded with a post (“The Difference Between A Boy And A Faggot”) that attempted to make the point that most Men prefer a “boy” rather than a fag because having a “boy” involves an emotional connection.
He ends with this line:
For guys like me who enjoy some level of intimacy and fantasize about making a real emotional connection, what we really need is a boy that we can make our own.
This annoyed me tremendously, and here’s why: for most Men, such an emotional connection is nice for a while, but in the end probably cannot last. Here are some reasons:
- The “boy” gets a little older and is less appealing.
- The Man surrenders to his desire to conquer others.
- The “boy” develops other interests and walks away.
- The Dom/sub “play” becomes tiresome for one or the other.
I was particularly irritated that someone like @tomthedom80 would over-romanticize this subject given the fact that he’s a MARRIED MAN who will always, at the end of the day, return to his wife. For @tomthedom80, having a “boy” means concealing a clandestine and occasional relationship with this “boy” until it either destroys his marriage or he is forced to break the boy’s heart in order to protect his REAL relationship.
Yeah, really romantic.
If you look at the Tumblr feeds of many “romantic Doms” like @tomthedom80 (and he’s certainly not overly romantic) or @temptingdominance, you see lots of pretty pictures of sweet young “boys” in various states of seduction. Here are a couple of examples:
Cute young guys, right? Who doesn’t like that?
Of course, these “romantic Doms” talk glowingly of taking these tender young things and making them their “boys” without ever discussing the reality of the situation. When you read their writings on the subject, they make it sound like this is a lifelong bond between them and their boy.
Here’s the reality: that cute young boy eventually isn’t so cute or young anymore. Or that cute young boy goes to college and develops interests other than the Dom/sub play of their older playmate. Or the older playmate grows bored with this boy and wants another.
Or maybe the whole Dom/sub playtime thing just isn’t anything other than a fantasy that will almost assuredly go nowhere in the long run. It isn’t a real long-term relationship like those in heterosexual/homosexual unions. In reality, this is short-term playtime in which the Dom uses the youth and freshness of the boy for his own gratification before discarding him for one reason or another.
And while I realize I sound bitter or frustrated, I’m merely trying to give some realistic perspective to this situation.
After serving many straight Alpha Males over the years, I understand the nature of Men quite well. Go ask any wife who has been dumped for the younger, more attractive secretary about a Man’s intrinsic sexual impulse. Men enjoy an emotional connection to the people they fuck FOR A WHILE, but their sexual wanderlust is too great to control.
Men have behaved like this since the BEGINNING OF TIME, and no amount of romanticizing on a Tumblr blog will change that obvious truth.
I’m sure it’s very easy for one of these romantic Doms to look at a boy’s untouched pink butthole and get the feels. These Doms see a young boy look up at them while on their hands and knees and start writing poetry about their affections.
But it isn’t really forever. In many cases, it simply CAN’T be forever.
The boys will learn that the hard way over time. But these Doms should already know better.