First off. Thanks for reading, you have an amazing page and podcast, just discovered it in the last week, and I’m very happy about that. We definitely dont agree on everything, I’m proud of being an arrogant bisexual faggot that doesnt submit in all the right ways. Probably makes you a much better faggot than me, but it is what it is.
So here’s where I need advice, for the first time ever, I’ve been serving a dom my age, who I was already friends and familiar, and it’s been amazing. Now, for him, I’m a total pain and torture and humiliation slave. Cbt, spanking, bondage, etc only. I’m not allowed to service him in other ways, but I am free to service any alpha or dom that wants me.
Dont get me wrong, he is an amazing dom, super intuitive, very good at keeping me in my place and eager to serve him, but I started to get the feeling something was a little off about 2 months back, when he told me I was lucky I was into cbt, cause he wouldn’t want to play with me if he never got to do anything with my cock. (Ive also been begging him to lock me up for a while to no avail) This stuck with me, and eventually I had the thought, “well he’s my dom, what kind of slave would i be if I didnt let him use me however he wanted to” and I told him I would let him blow me. We were on a weekend trip watching his parents’ house, and after about a day of being kept naked and serving him, I felt confident enough to offer. I told him that I wanted him to take me on his patio, sit me down and roll a joint for me, letting him use me as a tray. I told him I was going to ignore him and put my music on, and he could entertain himself as long as he wanted, I was his.
Clearly you can see why I think hes a fag too. And also why I’m kind of a terrible faggot. The final straw was this past weekend, I was serving a man and he and I both had invited my dom to watch us, which he declined. I wasnt upset, but I did ask why, and he eventually told me he was embarrassed about enjoying watching me worship another alpha. I honestly laughed, I couldnt believe he was considering me to be something he could be embarrassed in front of, I’m his fucking slave!! So, what should I do? I obviously plan to keep serving him in my way, but I really think he would be having a lot more fun if he got comfortable with his being a fag, should I talk to him about it?
Thanks again for answering
I’m not sure I’d call him a faggot, but he’s definitely not an Alpha. Part of the problem is the fact that you were friends before this, which causes too much familiarity and friendliness. Another part of the problem is your attitude, which you self-described as “arrogant” and “bisexual” and is probably not fully 100% committed to service and submission.
I’m always baffled by males who try to pretend to be Alpha. IT CANNOT BE FAKED. The truth will ALWAYS reveal itself.
And honestly, I really think you need to find an Alpha who will get you down and put you in your place. You need to be retrained, and this cocksucking Alpha is not the one to do it.