I’ve been serving a very intense, unforgiving, but very sexy Alpha over the last two years. Sometimes it’s been frequent and other times, based on his very touchy mood, it’s been infrequent. One thing has been consistent though, which was his nasty, condescending attitude. He was clever with it though, so I let it go. He’s highly educated — so am I — so it seemed ok. Plus his throatfucking and all of the rest was too good to ignore even if he was obnoxious. I’ve served other Alphas who get super nasty, but they also soften enough to say “good faggot” and make me feel safe.
Over the last week or so, he announced that I could either make a somewhat costly purchase for him, or he could decide whether to “terminate the interaction.” I could afford the purchase easily enough so I followed through. He was impatient the whole time and on Sunday, after some delivery delays, it arrived at my apartment. I informed him of that and his only response was, “well, why isn’t it here already?” So I let him know I was packing it to deliver to his doorman (I didn’t dare presume that I’d actually go to his apartment). His last response was “you really have no love for yourself, fucking sad.” That did it. I do have love for myself, but I know that I’ve also struggled with self-esteem issues like a lot of men do, dominant, submissive and everything in between. That comment struck me as not only sadistic, but dangerous. I asked him if he was serious, if he believed that about me, but I got no response. I’m left to assume, then, that he is someone who would fuck with another person’s mental health in order to get the purchase he requested. He’s lucky that I’m not a vulnerable person, but what if I were? He’s willing to risk another person’s well-being for his own satisfaction? That is irresponsible and since he is a scientist who researches cell biology for cures for diseases, I’m shocked that he’d do that.
So the power dynamic of an Alpha/faggot, dominant/submissive relationship crossed over into abuse as I see it. At the time that he texted that cruel observation last night, he thought that I was on my way to deliver his package to his doorman, but that never happened. I knew instantly that I would do no such thing, that I was done. But as much as I would like to text him and explain why there’s no package, I have a feeling that there’s no point. Some red flags of a clinical-level narcissism that popped up over the last two years turned out to have been accurate warning signs. What better day than Election Day 2020 to state that narcissists are incapable of seeing their own faults.
After writing this, I don’t really have any question and I don’t have any doubt that stopping myself cold yesterday was the right decision. it just feels unsatisfying that I’m not stating to him why there’s no package. It feels unsatisfying not to send a message that I’ve dumped him because he’s a danger. But if the polls are correct, by Wednesday morning, there’s another greater danger I will have participated in dumping and that will feel very, very satisfying.
I guess one question I would ask is whether you agree that just stopping communication completely with no explanation is the best idea. Of course you don’t know either of us, but in general, what do you think of simply breaking off contact with an Alpha who appears psychologically dangerous?
Brother, this asshole needs to be told why you’re stopping. He needs to have it told to him plainly, so that he connects his awful behavior with a specific outcome.
Some people are academically intelligent, but socially dumber than petrified dogshit. Your former Alpha sounds like that type. You’re teaching him an emphatic lesson with your actions, so underline it for the moron so there are no questions about it.
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