Never been with a guy but there’s this cute cafeteria guy at work omg he drives me insane blond hair pouty lips cute eyes never been attracted to guys before but this one i want to sleep with i want him to suck my cock so bad i don’t know if he’s gay or not but i want to find out, how?

Thank you for writing, Sir!

Yeah, aside from his cute features (he sounds adorable), there isn’t anything in your description to indicate whether or not he’s gay or a faggot. 

There are a few ways to find out if he’s a faggot, Sir. Make solid eye contact with him when you talk to him and see if he backs down or becomes shy. When you talk to him, start adjusting your cock/balls or rubbing them; faggots cannot resist the urge to look at that display. In general, watch where his eyes focus … does he tend to look down at your bulge, or at your feet? 

I would suggest that you simply walk up to him and ask him to suck your cock, but in the workplace that can be tricky these days. Just know this, Sir – all faggots exist to service you and obey your commands. It would be your right as a Man to walk up and demand such service. 

If cafeteria boy is actually a faggot, you’re well on your way to owning him!

Good luck, Sir! Keep me posted if something changes, please! Thank you Sir!