I have known I was a faggot since I was a kid. I was always an eager follower, obsessed with pleasing my guy friends and hungry for their praise. Once I became sexually mature, I got hungrier for other things. Nothing, literally nothing, makes me happier than being down on my knees with a throat full of cock and staring up into my alpha’s eyes, or getting spanked and having my hair pulled while I’m pounded from behind, or just being held by his strong arms and told I’m a good boy.
I have been owned for the past six years by my master. He is the most beautiful man, with big pecs and biceps (I’m obsessed with arms), a huge dick (duh), and he’s a protector on top of it, which is my favorite. He is so generous to me, and so kind, always looking out for me, while never compromising on his standards for obedience and the discipline he imposes. I couldn’t feel more fulfilled.
I’m really embarrassed to admit the next part. Before I ever had sex, I was obsessed with cum. I fantasized about drinking it, having it rain down on my face and dripping everywhere, holding it on my tongue so my alphas could see how hungry and obedient I was until they commanded me to swallow. My longing for cum was a big part of how I discovered I was a faggot in the first place.
Once I finally got some, I learned I hated the taste. It’s not even hate. It’s just a reaction. I can’t help it. I literally retch every time it touches my tongue. I feel like such a failure. Of course I tried drinking my own cum when I jerked off as a kid, but I figured I just hated that because I was a fucking faggot. I was sure I’d love a real man’s seed. I thought I wouldn’t be able to control myself with euphoria when I finally got to drink my master’s cum. Turns out I can’t control myself from gagging and doubling over. I’m so ashamed and feel like such a failure.
Master Drake is such a fucking stud. When he shoots, it’s so fucking beautiful. And he loves to paint my face because he says that’s when I look best. I’m really boyish and he says it proves to him I’m his good little whore. (And when he looks at me like that, and says that to me, I pretty much have an orgasm.) Master Drake doesn’t mind that I gag, but I’m really ashamed. I want to love lapping it up! And when he brings one of his friends over, it’s only worse. I’m afraid it embarrasses him, and it’s really hard to take a second or third load in my mouth. The last time, I vomited. I’ve never felt like I disappointed my master more, even though he didn’t seem very angry. I got paddled and was made to clean it up, but after his friends left, Master Drake held me and told me it was OK. But he hasn’t invited any of his workout buddies to use me since. I don’t need them, but it feels like a sign that he doesn’t trust me to share anymore, and that makes me worry he will give me up.
So my question is does this mean I’m not really a faggot? Am I wrong about who I am? Master Drake runs my entire life. He’s the center of my world basically. I can’t imagine, like if I’m not really a faggot, what would I do? Have any other faggots ever had this reaction to cum? And please please is there any way I can train myself to love cum the way I think I should? In my mind, I want to drink it endlessly all day, but then it hits my tongue and I lose all control.

First of all, put away any questions you have about your faghood. You are 100% a faggot. In fact, your attitude and gratitude about being a faggot is so spectacular that I wish I had you here so I could hug you. Master Drake is VERY lucky to own such a perfect little faggot!
Cum is an odd substance. It tastes like nothing else; it’s squirted violently in our mouths, it’s weirdly warm, and the texture feels like chunky egg membranes (gosh, I hope I’m not making you sick!). 
My advice to overcome your nausea from swallowing cum involves three prongs of attack:

  1. Ask your Master to eat fruits like pineapple for a couple of days and then squirt a little bit into your mouth (not a full load). The pineapple will sweeten his cum, and the small load will help you start to work your way up to more. 
  2. This step is mental. You can convince your mind that you’re starving for every drop of his cum inside you. CRAVE IT. I used this method to help me develop my deepthroating abilities, and you can develop a need for his cum. 
  3. This is mechanical. Have Master shoot his load with his dick all the way down your throat. This causes him to ejaculate beyond the taste buds on your tongue. Over time you will realize you CAN swallow his cum, and your confidence will rise.                                                                                                                                                                    

Don’t give up, little brother! You CAN do this!
I’m always open to talk via email fagsworshipalphas@gmail.com or on KIK at normalsubmissive. Would love to talk to your Master as well!
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