I reacted to the last time I was with my alpha poorly and deleted his info from my phone. Now I am regretting my petulant act and hope that he will reach out to me. 
Let me explain, over the last year I’ve gone from a casual bu bottom to a panty wearing, cum craving m and chastity caged faggot. It is due to the alpha man I met who say my potential and at our first hook up bred me. He said his cum in me will turn me into a sissy and he was right. The past year he has bred and cunted me to the point where I can’t deny how much of a  faggot I am. I have loved giving my cock up for his and pleasing him is more satisfying than my old ways of pleasing myself. But I fight it and try to be an equal or to be considered a partner… I know this isn’t true but I fight it. Our schedules are not in sync so we don’t hook up as often as needed. The last time we met up it was really late, which is a problem because I have to catch a ferry ticket back home. I worked the next day and if I don’t catch a ferry I have to sleep in my car which makes me not able to put the function at work. I wanted to be able to stay the night so I could get sleep and go to work.I showed up, dressed in panties stockings a bra and mr Stubbs chastity cage on. It was my first time with the really small cage, it was hot. He went to town on me. Pounded me mercilessly, I love him fucking me. I was leaking from my clitcock like mad and it was amazing. He loaded my cunt three times and took a break. In my haze he asked me what time I had to leave tincatch the ferry. I looked at the click and said “now”. I then realized he wasn’t going to have me stay the night and I needed to get out of there immediately if I was going to catch the ferry. I got pissy and started to gather my clothes, I was stumbling and trying to get moving. As I bent over to grab shoes his big strong hands grabbed me and pushed me over the foot of the bed. I tried to resist but he overpowered me and started to fuck me. I have to admit that his aggression and disregard for my situation made me not want to be there, I wasn’t giving myself he was taking me and I loved it. I hated that I loved it. I had a sissygasm and it was amazing. I cried at how good it felt being taken like this. He came in me and said “Now you can go”. I raced out of there. I drove my car like a bat out of hell in luckily made the ferry. I was so pissed that he put me in that situation I anger my deleted his contact info from my phone. Now a month later I regret it! I don’t know how to reach him except wait as his door. Which he’d not like. I don’t have a question, he some times reads this blog so I am hoping he sees this and invites me back. I have learned my lesson, I need to be his faggot and will be better, he knows I always come back more committed after I stumble. I won’t run from my role with him anymore. 

Well, my brother … you really opened your heart here and admitted some huge experiences both good and bad. Your reaction to all of this – deleting his information, etc. – is one of the dumbest and most immature responses I’ve ever heard. 
Do you really think you’re going to find an Alpha to replace this one? This great Alpha who has cunted you and takes you effortlessly? 
I don’t know if he’s going to see this response. You shouldn’t wait and let this get to the point where a return is awkward or impossible.
I like the idea of you waiting on his doorstep in a state of contrition. Shame. Sorrow. Regret. Surrender your ego and absolutely beg for the forgiveness of this Alpha god.

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