Hi Sam, 
thanks for your fantastic and helpful blog!
i am a 55 years old german fag; have been a fag my whole life but unfortunately didn’t serve Alphas the whole time. Since november 2019 i served a straight Alpha early 40s for about 3 years. i did his chores, housecleaning, dishes, shopping and stuff like this. once in a while when his gf was on holidays i was lucky to suck his perfect dick – i loved it! He was in a way abusive, slapped my face, spit into my mouth, called me names and stuff like this – but i loved this too. The more he degraded me, the more i submitted and loved to work for him. Unfortunately he quit my service, because he moved together with his gf and didn’t want his chick to know. 
So i started to search for another Alpha; but this very difficult, because of my age and of covid. In addition, i live in a very rural area and there are not many contact opportunities here. Nevertheless, i have now met a young straight Alpha. He is 28 years old and it scares me a bit that he is so young. He has no experience so far in dealing with faggots. He is really shy and hesitant, which irritates me. i have to constantly push so that he comes forward and says what He wants. He often asks what i want and doesn’t know exactly how far He can go with me. Then He doesn’t get in touch for a long time or cancels appointments. i think He is afraid of his own courage and it hurts me very much to see that He, a nature Alpha, is so withdrawn because society has drilled into him to be “nice”. It looks to me like He\’s not allowing himself to be what He is by nature: a leader and command-giver, born to enjoy life and use losers like me to do so.
Now He has stood me up several times in a row and is also slow to respond to my text messages; sometimes He doesn’t answer at all.  i don’t know what to do. Should I look for another Alpha? Or should i continue to stick with Him? i’m uncomfortable pushing Him like this and sort of taking the lead. i feel like i’m not entitled to that. i have already suggested to Him that i do only little for him at first, e.g. just do the shopping and then leave it outside His door – that way He doesn’t have to interact with me much. But He has not responded to this suggestion.
Do you have any idea how i should proceed? What behavior of mine is appropriate? Thank you in advance.
Greetings fag Achim 


Brother, thank you for writing to me! Yes, this can be a very frustrating situation, mainly because you don’t know the real reason for his behavior (it could be a host of things). But, ultimately, you need to leave him to find the truth for himself. Alphahood cannot be forced or coerced; it’s either there, going to be there eventually, or will never get there. As faggots, we might be able to make suggestions if the Alpha is receptive to talking about it. This Alpha doesn’t seem like he is, so I would move on. Believe me, there are other Alphas who are definitely ready to use you!

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