I realize my story isn’t typical. My father was my first alpha. He taught me that I was a faggot and that I was born to serve straight men. He was the first man to facefuck me and made me realize my worth as a cocksucker. He recently passed away and I am left with an empty feeling. You see, as I grew older I started resenting my father as I attempted to pursue life as a proud gay man. Now that he has passed, all I can think of is how I did not service him later in his life. I feel so badly. How can I feel better about this and reconfirm my faggotry?

Your father knew what you were and (rightly or wrongly) tried to teach you that truth and your purpose in the greater scheme of things. As you grew up, you largely rejected those lessons in favor of the PC, anti-Hierarchical gay agenda idea of equality.
Your Dad was teaching you the truth, but it took his death for you to realize this.
If you really want to honor your father you should stop trying to resist your calling and begin serving Men. More vitally, find one good Alpha and serve him faithfully and with a heart full of devotion. I do think that would do your Alpha father proud.