I know ideally I shouldn’t masturbate at all and should focus on satisfying a man. The problem is I’m trying to get established and my life isn’t stable right now. I’m 29 but I’m behind in life. I’m lonely men don’t want me anyway. I can’t imagine a man ever thinking enough of me to stick his precious, beautiful dick inside me.
I have a small, thin, tiny penis. It’s aches to be touched but I ignore it. I consider it a useless clit. I don’t let myself jack off and cum because I think that’s a privilege for real man. My little penis only dribbles small loads anyway. I get so horny sometimes though and other bottoms claim to jack off. I let myself use a dildo but that’s it. Should I just jack off?

Brother, I do sympathize with your situation. Honestly, due to COVID, we have all been too isolated and often lonelier than we’ve likely ever been before. Don’t let it overwhelm you. 
A dildo (or better yet, a vibrator) is a fine way to get pleasure. With the right vibrator or prostate stimulator, you will not even think about your penis. 
But I want to encourage you to use this frustration as a motivator to get yourself out there and start actually serving. Get into shape, focus your mind, and develop your courage. Better days are coming, and opportunities can be yours if you take action!