I’m a 22yo I always thought I was straight. I met this older guy we got drunk and he made me his bitch. That was a year ago. I still fuck girls but if he tell me he’s horny I know that means he wants to fuck me. He uses me for what seems like hours when done we cuddle and then I leave. He recently told me I he has feeling for me but I’m not gay. What do I do? I still want to serve him but still like girls and want a family.
Well, this is one of the more unusual questions I’ve ever received (that’s saying something, too!).
First of all, can we admit that you’re not straight? No straight Man is going to let another Man fuck him up the ass many times over the course of a YEAR. I could see where a straight Man might fall into a drunken night of experimentation with anal penetration, but he wouldn’t go back to it again and again.
With that out of the way, let’s focus on what is really causing the problem. You mentioned that you still want a family … you’re clinging to that idea like a security blanket that might protect you from the newfound reality that you’re functioning as a faggot for this older Man.
I can almost hear you whispering to yourself: “I’m not gay … I like girls … but, I want a family …” all while this older Man is mounting you and fucking you like a bitch. Sounds pretty ludicrous, doesn’t it?
I think you’re tapping into something deep in your subconscious, and you’re acting it out with this Man. Does it mean you are a latent fag that hasn’t come to grips with the truth? MAYBE. Could it be something else? POSSIBLY.
But you aren’t going to really understand the truth if you’re putting up false beliefs around your mind and heart. Drop the pretenses and simply go with your gut. The future will sort itself out.