Yes, he often looks like a constipated lesbian with diaper rash, and his antics make spoiled rich kids blush with embarrassment. Not counting his screaming hordes of teen girl “Beliebers,” Justin Bieber typically elicits a hatred unparalleled among pop culture figures (possibly surpassed only by the Kardashians). 

Yet we cannot deny the obvious: Justin Bieber is an Alpha.

Bieber rose to prominence based primarily on his pouty good looks. When he first appeared on YouTube, girls didn’t fall in love with his mediocre voice or his complete lack of musical skills. No, he was an adorable 14 year old moppet with great shaggy hair, full lips, and puppy-dog eyes. He was cute, but even worse was the fact that, even at a young age, Justin KNEW IT and USED IT.

Bieber grew into the douche we hate-respect today thanks to the constant adoration of his millions of fans and the posse protectively surrounding him. He would eventually tattoo his scrawny body and show off his ass in overly-baggy pants to the derision of Men everywhere. With every passing escapade, people would stop and mutter: How does everything go so right for a guy so awful?

The answer is simple: Justin Bieber is an Alpha Male who wields his power to get whatever he wants. Take a look at this photo below. This is an adult Justin Bieber being carried up the Great Wall of China by two other grown adult Men.

That, folks, is an Alpha King exercising his power.

Men everywhere were discouraged even further when  someone snapped a picture of Bieber naked on vacation. Instead of having a tiny dick (or even a pussy) as they had imagined, it became clear that Bieber had a long fat cock, too.

In other words, he has everything an Alpha Male could want: millions of dollars, millions of worshipers, and a giant dick to use on anyone he chooses.

But what gives Bieber that power? Like most true Alphas, he simply doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him. He knows he’s a god, and that the rest of the world is there to serve him. He takes whatever he wants, whenever he wants. That, more than anything, is a quality unique to most Alphas.

I can’t stand him or his music, but his power as an Alpha is undeniable.