Hello 
First let me say how happy I am to have found your site. Keep up the great work.
I am a middle aged mwm. Tho my story is somewhat long I will condense it for my question.  Back in 1982 I was seduced by my then girlfriends stepfather.  Not seduced like a man would a woman, but rather as an Alpha seduces a faggot. Of course I dint realize that back then. Needless to say I broke up with her and became his sex toy. Well that was many years ago. Now to the present.
I’ve done my job. I have supported my family as a father and husband should. Always carrying thr memories from my youth. 
Recently I have had the honor and privilege of pleasuring a true Alpha Black Man (my first black man). After swallowing his precious seed a few times he decided he need to feel my other hole. The first two times he fucked me he wore a condom.  The first time he entered me it hurt. He is bigger than anything I have had before. But I layer back and told myself to accept him. The second time was much like the first. I should mention he made my caged clitty leak like a fauct both times.
Now for the kicker… the third time we were together we decided I deserved to feel the real him without the latex barrier. First let me say he was my first uncut Cock. Wow.. completely different than a cut one.. so much better.  I digress.. this time he entered me like the others. Concerned for my comfort. Slow and sure and never more than half of his length. He pulled out and let me recover for a moment. When he did, I instantly felt empty and longed for the fullness again. When he entered me again it was different.  No pain at all.. just lust. This time he began to fuck me.. I begged him to give it all to me.. he kept saying I couldn’t handle all of him. I told him to anyway.. his passion increased as did his pace and force. Something happened. Something changed in us both. He became an animal.  He began grunting and growling. My body changed. My mind changed. I felt something deep inside me open and accept him honestly and eagerly.  His fucking was no longer restrained by concern for me, but rather his instinctual need to breed. My soft caged clitty spurred cum all over my belly. This drove him even deeper. I didn’t recognize him anymore. He pushed all the way in and then even deeper to deposit his precious seed deep inside me. He came, filling me. I felt it running out of me as he continued to fuck even tho he just came.. well until once again I spurted my liquid.. when he finally pulled out my whole body was shaking uncontrollably.  My legs spammed and my hole pulsed open.. I have never felt so satisfied… so completely pleasured. 
Now my question.  I do not find Men attractive in any way. ( although now I see a Black man and instantly feel my need to serve him and feel him) 
Is it common for a faggot to not find Men attractive yet at the same time be unable to resist pleasing them?

Congratulations, brother! Your black Alpha cunted you during that third fuck! Cunting a faggot is much like the moment a Man pops a girl’s cherry. You’re changed forever.
 
I start with that because it explains the shift in your feelings you mention now that he has cunted you. 
 
Now, let’s tackle your need to serve despite a lack of physical attraction toward the Male form. I’ve often explained here that straight Alphas use faggots because of POWER rather than sexual attraction. Well, the same thing can happen with betas and faggots. You’re turned on by the lack of power you feel in the presence of an Alpha, and the complete power he has.

Have a question? CLICK HERE to ask!

Most men despite a genuine attraction to other males can fuck other males at will but a good number of gays can not do the same to females. Why?

Well gay Tops sometimes fuck females. 

Gay BOTTOMS and FAGGOTS can’t fuck females because we are wired to need dick inside of us. It’s almost like we are not programmed to use our penises for penetration.

Meanwhile, straight Men can fuck faggots as easily as females because they all have holes to penetrate. And boy do they ever!

sorry if this was asked before but, can i be masculine and a fag at the same time? i feel like being confident and masculine looking is decreasing my chances to connect with an alpha, or for him to ‘sense’ who i really am.

I do think masculinity is bad for faggots when they’re trying to be found and accepted by Alphas, because, while Alphas are good at sniffing out faggots, they naturally feel less confident about making a move on a masculine-seeming male.

However, there are a lot of Alphas who love masculine faggots. @Natural-hung-bull is one of them. They love the sight of a masculine male submitting to them and surrendering to them. A feminine faggot is no challenge, but a masculine faggot poses a physical challenge that, once overcome, provides an extra layer of emotional satisfaction for the Alpha.

So don’t give up. You have what Alphas want!

Thank you, Sir. I will try.

I knew I liked boys in fifth or sixth grade, but I was too young to properly understand what that meant. And as puberty approached that attraction drifted into the background.

But once puberty hit, I REALLY knew that I found Men attractive. However, having grown up in the Midwest, coming out and being openly gay wasn’t so easy. Compounding the problem was my strict religious family. In the meantime, my friends seemed to be really enjoying sex with girls, and so I thought I would experiment with girls since I didn’t have guys I knew of who might have sex with me. And that’s exactly what I did.

As I’ve written before, I didn’t understand my purpose as a faggot until I began to serve my first Alpha at the age of seventeen. Then everything became crystal clear. Prior to that, I knew I was attracted to Men and I figured I would end up just like any other gay Man. 

Then a helpful Alpha taught me the truth, and that truth set me free.