This thread follows the development of Tanner, an experienced cash fag, as he begins his journey beyond findom and into real-time service. CLICK HERE to follow this thread in chronological order!
Anybody who has followed this blog for a decent amount of time knows that I’ve had a change of heart about financial domination (findom). I used to rail against it constantly, and in the process I would hurt and offend the many cash fags in my audience. But after developing several meaningful relationships with both cash fags and cash Masters, I slowly changed my stance.
But while I now consider findom to be a viable expression of service to Alphas, I still think it’s nowhere near as effective or as life-altering as real-time service. That’s why I’m always pushing for cash faggots to reach out and find local Alphas they can serve in person. It makes a huge difference.
Which leads me to Tanner. This cash fag has been following this site since the crazy early days on Tumblr. It seems that, after many years of serving as a cash fag, he may finally be ready to emerge from his findom cocoon and fly like a beautiful, faggy butterfly.
Here’s the gift he gave to me the other day:
I followed you on Tumblr back in the day, and recently discovered your website and podcast! It’s definitely helping me a lot!
I have been exploring my submissive faggot-slave nature via findom online for years. It has been a great journey of self-discovery, but I’ve been hearing an inner voice saying that only real-life submission will truly satisfy me. I have also spent over $20,000 through the years (could be more, I really have no idea, need to add it up someday…) and I don’t regret any of it! Sacrificing for the incredible men I have met online over the years has taught me a lot.
((**This paragraph is an aside point: more for context about myself: I think I am only attracted to straight Alpha men, so I haven’t been really focused on sexual service because I don’t expect any straight alpha to actually want a faggot to suck their dick. I was shocked to hear about the Alphas from Toronto because I live in a smaller city just 50 minutes away and I still find it hard to believe any straight guy would allow that, but I am open-minded to the possibility.)
Anyway, this is the story about how a year ago I did something I never imagined I’d have the balls to do… I approached this Alpha named Adam at my gym, to hand him an envelope containing $100 saying “From a fan(g)”. (I actually made the ‘g’ in a dotted line on top of the ‘n’ so it could be read as either word…
I knew he was a real Alpha because I was introduced to him by this cashmaster I served for a short while online like 5 years ago, who lives in another city in my province of Ontario. This cashmaster was on steroids so I was asking him if he knew anyone that could sell me some because I was sorta interested in trying. He connected me with this old friend of his named Adam who is a bodybuilder about 30 minutes away from me. Then he joked: “but don’t go serving him now…” so I realized his friend might also be an Alpha. So I got Adam’s number and we eventually met at a gas station for me to purchase some roids. I was nervous and he almost gave me a heart attack when he jumped into the passenger side of my vehicle. I was blown away by his size and energy, I had never been so close to a real Alpha! We just talked a bit and he was also really nice, told me to add him on instagram @AlphAdam … “OMG the name I thought… good thing I added extra money to his envelope!!”
I didn’t even add him on Instagram right away because at the time I was like afraid he would see how much of a fag I was. I hadn’t reached the “Acceptance” stage you brilliantly talk about in episode #63 Acceptance of your podcast. So I just lurked in the background for a while because at the time he didn’t even live in my city.
He was really interesting on Instagram though – not afraid to put himself out there, always posting stories from his unique life, going on amazing rants about life. I was so entertained and impressed by this lone wolf, cocky-as-fuck, mouthy, 29-year-old Alpha muscle god who owns like 6 dogs, a Mercedes, and a house that he rents rooms out of. An incredibly hard-working, regimented beast who sleeps like 5 hours a night, works out like twice-daily, eats whatever he wants and also has a heart of gold.
As I began to learn that long-distance online servitude via findom had its limits and was probably not the best route for me long term, I began to fantasize and wonder how I could possibly serve a real Alpha some day. It seemed like a far off dream but I fantasized a lot about things like domestic service. I would think to myself “imagine if a man like Adam would let me rent one of his rooms and then I could help him out around the house!!!” What a dream…
Imagine my intrigue, when one day I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of my gym, smoking up before my swim, when I saw a Mercedes parked near me that looked just like his! I checked the license plate against his pics on Insta like a crazy stalker, and my heart started RACING as I realized he was in there working out! Now, he would talk on Instagram about how he liked to go around to different gyms in nearby cities to workout sometimes, so I had no idea he had actually moved to my city. I would not have had the guts to do what I did next if I thought he would ever see me again. I immediately walked to the nearby hotel to their ATM in the lobby, took out $100, and asked the concierge for an envelope. I knew I would see him somewhere in the gym, and of course there he was immediately as I entered the workout area, in the semi-private stretching area… how am I so blessed. My god I was nervous, I went up to him and could barely speak but I managed to basically say “Hi Sir, sorry to interrupt you, I just wanted to say thanks and let you know I’m a big fan of your instagram, it has really motivated me and I wanted to show my appreciation”. He friggin’ loved it…
Then, imagine my horror, when I realized he actually lived in my city and went to my gym every day! I would have to occasionally run into him and I was horrified and scared. It was what I needed though – to be seen and accepted as a faggot! I was surprised that he was really chill and pretty comfortable with it. Things didn’t progress very fast though, it literally took a year!! I would offer to buy him weed from time to time, and once contributed a good amount to his GoFundMe for one of his dogs to get emergency surgery… but I was used to something different online, and some of this hidden world was new to him. I would try to tell myself he didn’t really “get it” – for example, when he wasn’t really comfortable calling me a faggot at first. It was a slow burn, off-and-on over about a year, with us both learning from each other, for me to finally realize today that what I’ve always wanted has been right in front of me!
Another reason it took a year is I was distracted by my scouring the internet for the most incredible, real and magnetic Alphas online — I found a couple that blew my mind. Basking in their intense energies was like a religious experience at times. I thought I had found my true forever master – this super wise, scarily powerful guy from Russia (whom I still think I might serve in some capacity forever) but the language barrier and downsides of long-distance finally led me to today…
Adam and I hadn’t talked in months but lately I was really into watching his stories and today I commented on a couple of his pictures (I usually hide…). His instincts kicked in right away, and he made his move by telling me to buy him some weed (lol). Thanks to my spiritual transformation with my Russian master, I think I was feeling so accepting of my true fag nature that I was able to speak to him in such a frank and open way that we launched into an epic conversation where I realized he actually is far greater of an Alpha than I even imagined. In an instant I was his. I’m embarrassed it took me so long to realize I am literally made to serve him, but it never would’ve happened if I didn’t have findom (and your blog/podcast!) to help me deeply accept and embrace my true nature.
The rest of the story is yet to be written – I don’t think he even realizes how serious I am, but I’m just telling you, I feel a “deep knowing” right now that the next phase of my life has just begun. Serving him will be my sole focus. He will motivate me to be my best: a strong and healthy slave for him. I dream of one day being his tenant, serving him financially with the help of my $100K/year income and helping him walk dogs, cook and clean. (I don’t imagine it will be sexual service, the most I could dream of is to be able to worship his feet or lick his ass, even just once… oh god who knows)
I will try to keep you updated on my progress!
This is a HUGE development! Why? Well, like I immediately told Tanner, this Alpha is going to use him! Yes, of course he’s going to use him financially … but he’s also going to use Tanner as a personal faggot and, most likely, as a sexual slave.
Why do I say this? First of all, he’s a bodybuilder. and all bodybuilders love to have their bodies worshiped. Secondly, this Alpha has clearly had faggots offering him things in the past given how comfortable he is with Tanner’s approach. And thirdly, the aggressive way he demanded service of Tanner as soon as Tanner made his availability known.
You just watch! If Tanner continues to cultivate this, it’s going to yield delicious, cum-flavored fruit!