Every faggot has that one straight friend early in their fag career that they crushed on and embarrassed themselves while trying to get their attention and affection. For me, it was a sexy guy named Bob in eighth grade.

I love this scene from the classic Paul Thomas Anderson film BOOGIE NIGHTS because it so perfectly captures the way many faggots stumble over themselves to try and impress their dream Alpha. The late, great Phillip Seymour Hoffmann plays the faggot Scotty, the sound guy for a porn producer played by Burt Reynolds. He’s desperately in love with Dirk Diggler, the hot straight Alpha stud with the 13″ cock played by Mark Wahlberg.

As a faggot familiar with this kind of thing, it’s uncomfortable to watch. But it’s also necessary to watch.