I spent most of today in an emotional tailspin. I was quite hurt by the trick played on me by people who claim to be my readers by inventing an outrageous story that I eventually (and unwisely) ran on the site. Truly, I do the best I can to get these stories right, but I’m just one person trying to do an enormous job. This failure hurt.

I knew I couldn’t pull the site down, but I spent the day trying to figure out how much more time I could spend with something that was causing me this much frustration and animosity.

Then, like magic, I received this incredible message on Snapchat from a gay boy named Hazem in Saudi Arabia. Please read this:

Hi there! I’ve recently discovered your podcast and I just wanna say that I really enjoy it. As a gay Muslim boy, who’s lived in Saudi Arabia most of my life, it’s really refreshing to hear such an amazing viewpoint of what I personally believe to be very prevalent and relevant in the world. I don’t believe this type of conversation and topic is given enough light due to the bullshit made up societal norms we have in the world.

Therefore I’m extending a thank you to you – as your podcasts and website are extremely and informative not just to alphas and fags, but to any male, straight or gay or whatever. It’s highly educational and in my opinion necessary for everyone to understand and accept these realities. Furthermore I really believe your work will push people in the right direction of whatever hierarchical status they belong to. It’s imperative to functionality of society. So thank you for normalizing these topics.

I’ve even showed some of your work to my father who has always encouraged me to explore myself and my role in society. I said that your podcast helps me to really delve further into my mind and evaluate a lot about myself. He has listened to some podcasts and encourages it as he also believes it’ll give me clarity as to who I am and what I stand for.

You see, if it wasn’t for your podcast, bringing this type of topic up for discussion with your father would be much harder. Therefore, your podcasts almost work as a broker to legitimize the topic to the older generation as they find it harder to digest these types of dialogues (at least where I’m from). However I do like to be very open with him as we’re best friends haha and your podcast has really aided me in shifting the topic from an awkward place to a very comfortable place where we can bounce off each other’s talking points regarding the types of topics that you bring to the surface.

So a big thank you for that, and I’m very excited to explore your podcasts more, educate myself, and explore myself. And the best part is that I’m able to talk with my dad about it too, as I mentioned before, without your podcasts it would be a lot harder to get the words out properly about my belief systems haha. Awesome work man, keep it up!

And I immediately began to cry.

It hit home for me first of all because Hazem is from the Middle East, the hotbed of anti-gay hate from where I rescued Baby Boy in 2017. But then it also hit me in the gut that my silly podcast about Hierarchy could reach into the home of an Arabic family on the other side of the world and bond a father and son with new light and understanding.

And suddenly I could hold up my head again.

It’s truly baffling how much hate and cruelty poisons this world. It crushes the spirit. I run this website out of a desire to help people, and it is a target of hateful attacks. People like Hazem simply want to live lives honestly and transparently, but their culture hates them and represses them.

I might look stupid or foolish or just plain wrong to those who seek to hurt me, but I’ll keep on going for the ones I’m helping. How could I ever turn my back on a gentle and loving person like Hazem, a boy who thinks enough of me to write such a soaring letter to me from the darkness of the Middle East?

I can be brave just like Hazem.

To the game players out there who seek to hurt me or destroy what I’m trying to do here, I ask: re-read Hazem’s letter and see my works in his words.

And then ask yourself what you’re doing to make a positive impact in our world. You may not like the answer if you can be honest at all.

I love you, Hazem!

~ sam

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